10/28/25 - Ungrounded & performing
Woke up at 7am again just because I couldn’t sleep, and I find of had a bad dreamish. I feel like I’ve been cleansing all my trauma from my dreams. To “go through experiences” without going through them. Same with crushes, lmao I have like mental talking stages and breakups at this point. Experiencing relationships without really experiencing them.
Anyways, woke up and decided I was going to finish journaling in peace but then got distracted. I’m obsessed with a video I posted yday. It feels so showey and non-showey at the same time.
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While I was journaling a bit, I feel like it all got to my head that I kind of just woke up one day and was calm and grounded. Almost like I didn’t understand how and it just felt like I got the gift for free.
And that’s when today’s ungrounded energy became downhill.
I got ready, but was running late, so started getting anxious about it. I felt in a rush.
Then got to work, and was hungry but I was fasting, so felt ungrounded about that too. Ended up going to safeway to get fruits. Called my mom while I was at safeway.
For lunch, I felt the need to explain to everyone why I was fasting. On the way to Spark Social, I literally was spending my energy talking about amex points. Like that was so unnecessary. At lunch, I was trying to stir up conversation.
After lunch, I had my meeting with my new co-worker and I was reading her face while telling her things. Also was catering to her emotions.
When the parent company people came, I literally overexplained something.
At dinner, I was also actively tried to engage people in conversation.
After dinner, I was so drained and tried that I left the bar.
Overall, today was literally completely downhill in my grounding. I was constantly overextending, proving myself, reading energies, and not being still. I feel like it’s because it got to my head.
5/10 - Felt ungrounded but also confused because I almost didn’t want to stay quiet today but I almost felt like I was leaking my energy
Intuition - Maybe I needed to feel this low to make my way to the high again.
Energy:
25% - not being still
25% - randomly wasting my energy on useless convo
50% - trying to ground myself
