10/26/25 - SF energy

Woke up as soon as the coworker left for her flight at 6am. I thought I would go back to sleep but just couldn’t and got super comfy in bed, so after a while just ended up watching an episode of gilmore girls and just chilling in bed. I was trying to really take in the LA energy.

After a while, finally got up and started packing, and then went to go shower and left. I was already somehow hitting it close, so decided to just get food at the airport. Somehow the shuttle was right outside the hotel too, so ended up taking the shuttle to the airport.

Security was dragging a bit, but while I was in line and couldn’t help but stop and just appreciate the warm LA energy. lmao my Dil Mil candle got flagged but the TSA agent was brown, so he immediately starts asking me if I worked there and we had a bit of slight banter. By this point, I was starving and the only thing by my gate was jersey mikes. I tried looking for something else but didn’t feel like going on an adventure when I only had 10 minutes left for boarding. Ended up getting the jersey mikes, along with some chips and a cookie.

My flight boarding was a bit delayed so just sat in front of the gate eating half my sandwich. I was hoping no one famous walked by. Anyways, I get on the plane and there’s a huge brown guy sitting right next to me! The one time I literally smell like sandwiches and have a shit ton of bags in my hand. For the flight, I watched a couple of minutes of bride wars and then got sleepy so fell asleep. Lmao I pretended the cute guy didn’t exist and kept myself calm. Overall, this is the most amount of touching I’ve gotten in 2 years lolol. Elbow touching. I had a moment where I was like honestly, it would be nice to have someone in my life. I kind of miss traveling with someone. At the end lmao when we were getting off, me and the brown dude had a sec of eye contact cause I dropped my water bottle.

Anyways got off, called my uber. It was raining in SF. I was tired so couldn’t wait to go back to the hotel and chill. While I was in the uber, I started getting anxiety cause everyone was already posting all the content from the event yday, and I didn’t have the energy to go through it, also just the SF air was kind of giving me anxiety. Felt like an instant flashback of all my memories. The energy was different from what I felt in LA. In LA it was light and airy. In SF it was fresh but felt like stagnant energy. Like my past was stuck here.

Got the hotel, and as suspected it was by the hood. Got into my hotel room and I hated it at first. It definitely wasn’t like my LA room. I was going to try to make it my home for the week though with my new found power or making anything feel like home. I decided to just lay in bed and watched gilmore girls, my ex-roommate texted me and I told her I was just going to come over at 6. Part of me almost wanted to cancel cause I had anxiety to post and do my journals and showers. Tried taking a nap but that didn’t work.

I still need to give her her bday gift but figured I was just going to lie and tell her I was waiting on something and then give it to her on friday for halloween. Anyways, left at like 5:45pm and ubered to her house. I was wondering if I was going to overtalk and have anxiety like I did with my cousin.

But tbh as soon as I saw her it felt like I just saw her yday, and I love that because it truly feels like time never passes when we’re hanging out and I was just so grounded. We were talking and decided to watch Gilmore girls. None of it felt like I was overextending myself. I was so calm. The episode we watched was when Luke and Lorili finally kiss and the end to the season, so it was such a good episode to watch with her.

Anyways, even though I was only with her for two hours, I felt like I was there forever. I do like how I had undivided attention. It’s like she was present. I feel like after I moved out she’s definitely been appreciating our time together better. Also gave her the rundown of everything happening in Chicago.

On my way back, the uber drove past all these cute restaurants and part of me almost wanted to go on a date. Something about SF brings me in dating energy. I feel feminine here, softer. Almost out of my survival mode, but still not completely at peace. The LA organizer also texted me but I told myself I would just text her tomorrow.

Hopefully, wake up early tomorrow, post, and need to do my hair and makeup. Exhausted right now, though.

Intuition - I genuinely feel like my calm energy is somehow anchored but Idek what I did. I just woke up like this yday.

7/10 - Have a bit of anxiety with all the things I need to do.

Energy:
50% - getting adjusted to SF again
50% - trying to stay anchored