10/20/25 - Diwali, timing

Today was perfect. It was simple, non-performative, and peaceful. It’s Diwali, and sitll woke up a bit late, but showered and then watched some gilmore girls. While I was doing a bit of work, it randomly just hit me.

Intially in march, when I was annoyed with my boss, I was so convienced I was going to quit my job by now, but I still haven’t, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Until now, I feel like I’ve always tried to force quantum jumping. I thought if I quit my job it would bring my success faster, but today I realized that probably not.. I would have quit, then would have been depressed, and overworked, and maybe now would probably be at the same point I am now, where I just trust timing and flow.

Overall, mom and I ate and then I drank some tea and knocked out. I’m pretty sure the tea brings my sugar low because I’ve been drinking it for 2 days and that’s what’s been happening. It creates a sugar crash.

Woke up, and then started doing a rangoli. I didn’t feel like making any of the decorations “the best”. I was honestly really lazy about it. I just didn’t want to do anything from being performative. Last year, I did so much because I wanted to create content, and it find of felt like an empty diwali.

Somehow even though the rangoli was bad, it kind of worked after putting flowers and other decorations near it. Mom wanted to get dressed up, so we got dressed up. I wore my orange lengha and did some light makeup.

We then lit all the diyas, prayed together, took pictures, and I made enchildas for dinner, so we ate them. We didn’t even watch TV while eating today, it was just so wholesome.

Last Diwali, we had people living with us, the ones we rented a room to, but Idk why I felt a sense of hallowness. This year it was just mom and I but it felt complete and wholesome. Almost so good to the point, my anxiety creeped in for a second of if something bad going to happen but I had to calm it down and tell it I deserve happiness.

I also video called my dad and it was a bit weird for him, not me. He was a bit shy lmao, like he was talking to someone new. I feel like for him, I change a lot. For me, he looks the same. Anyways, mans was ghossiping already. Hoping my healing energy rubs off on him too somehow.

The craziest thing about this Diwali is that I actually called my masi. The one that I depised until now. Idk I’m not mad at her anymore… I feel like I finally get her.

10/10 - It was a great Diwali. It felt so complete and wholesome.

Intuiton - This is the start to my happiness.

Energy:
100% - Diwali energy & celebrating with mom