10/10/25 - Learning how to pause and listen
I can’t believe I’m the one saying this but I finally get the value of just slowing down in a conversation. I used to be the person that would just be prepared with talking points wether is was with a call with my boss, or an influencer. I was always taking charge because I hated the pauses and awkwardness.
But for the first time, Idk even know where it’s coming from, but I’ve literally been telling the new girl to “hear them out” on the calls. I’ve been telling her to slow down and just hear what they have to say by asking a question or two. It almost feels like a full circle because I would learn this while selling phones too. Where you ask questions and try to find a value of the product by selling them the dream. Straight up pitching never worked.
The new girl’s name is S. And S is a mirror of my workaholic, anxiety side. But by correcting her, I’m also teaching myself. I learn from teaching my mom things too.
Me thinking I was super efficient was all a trauma response. I see it in S. And it almost feels like girls from movies. The dorky anxious ones.
Anyways, woke up and worked. It was a bit gloomy today. Switched between eating, watching gilmore girls and working for the rest of the day.
I haven’t been sleepy enough to take naps which is a plus point, but I also haven’t walked in a week and it literally feels like I haven’t walked in a month. I might bring out my treadmil again to watch and walk since it’s getting cold outside.
At like 5pm, made it outside to khols to do some returns. Did a lap in the mall. My best friend asked me to go on a walk with her but tbh I didn’t feel like it. Which is also new for me. Normally I would just go. But now I’m like if I was on the walk, would I be present or excited to go home? And unfortunately, the answer was excited to go home.
Came home, mom and I made pani puri for dinner and watched TV. Maybe I like gilmore girls because it reminds me of my relationship with my mom. It feels relatable. I always thought the show was about two girls, not a mother and daughter. Same with Sex and the city. These shows need better descriptions.
Anyways, still have a crush on the new N. But my intuition tells me he’s not ready to slow down yet, and he’s too self absorbed. He needs to soften up a bit, and appreciate slowing down.
Mom and I cleaned our 3rd room since we have guests coming over tomorrow and I took melotonin gummies. Lmao Idk why I’m so excited about it. Truly getting old if getting 10 hours of sleep and waking up early is happiness for me right now.
Intuition - S is there to show me how to get out of my anxiety. I wonder If I play a role in her life too.
9/10 - Chilled for the most part
Energy:
100% - trying to find peace and joy and just enjoy stillness
