10/7/25 - Mad at myself for not making progess

Woke up and it was super gloomy. Last night, it started to rain but I was too sleepy to be paranoid about another flood and just fell asleep.

Watched Gilmore girls for a bit, and then got ready. Before going, I was panicking a bit about water flooding again.

went to patel brothers with my mom, ate, took meetings with the new girl. She’s not that excited as I felt talked to her. She was so hyper, but she’s mellowed out a bit. Ngl I kind of liked the more energetic version of her. The fixer in me was a little worried, like idk if she was just overwelhmed, but I can also see she’s just locked in.

Not too long ago I feel like I was so happy I could read people and now that very thing is so confusing to me. It feels too much.

Anyways, worked a bit more. Watched some more gilmore girls during my break, and now I need to still figure out the etsy stuff and finish up vistaprint orders.

Tbh I didn’t really feel super productive today. Idk if I just need to go to a coffee shop tomorrow or something.

I randomly checked the calendar, and realized it’s almost the end of the year. Ngl I feel a bit of grief. On Jan 1st, when I made my video, I was so convinced my life was going to change this year. But it almost feels like I’ve wasted my year. Like I remember my fight with my friends in Feb and it’s already October. Everything feels the same and I’m not so sure what progress I’ve even made. For the most part, I’ve also only lost 10 pounds this whole year. That’s crazy. And overall, I think I’m just mad at myself for not making more progress. Every year on my bday, I’m never sad because I usually achieve more than I think I should achieve at that age. But this year… what did I even do? I don’t think I’ve gotten fit or anything.

I’m mad at myself for not waking up early too.

Idk what it is, but I still feel a bit of sadness, grief, loss of hope.

8/10 - Chill for the most part but feel a bit of grief

Intuition - I just need to hang in there.

Energy:
80% - chilling
20% - feeling a little sad