2/28/26 - My boundaries, trusting what’s meant for me, abundant visibility, perfecting my craft

I had a dream last night that I’m honestly so proud of.

I was getting ready for a date, and I was so excited and ready. Similar to how I used to be a couple of years ago when I was dating. This time, somehow I didn’t know anything about the guy I was on a date with. Just saw his picture once.

He said 7pm at Tao, but was 40 minutes late. Within that 40 minutes, somehow my best friend was in the bathroom with me, and my cousin and uncle came to the resteraunt too, but I didn’t care if they saw me on a date since everyone wants me to get married anyways.

As soon as I saw the guy, he was a bit drunk and he was staring at the pretty girl in front of me and thought I was her. As soon as he realized it wasn’t me, he was a bit disappointed. I immediately clocked him as a little rude and superficial.

And then we happened to get seated next to my cousin and uncle. Within two minutes the vibes just weren’t there and I just couldn’t take it, so I straight up just told him “Hey, this isn’t going to work out. I just know. We can either just end this now. I don’t mind, I can have dinner with my uncle and cousin, or we can share a meal as friends.” We ended up deciding to end it, and I went to my family table and got a mocktail. My cousin was so impressed with how direct I was and I was so proud of myself too. I ended it so quick, and cleanly.

I didn’t abandon myself, negotiate with myself. Was so clean and direct and didn’t devalue myself to think what was wrong with me. I was the one choosing, and he just wasn’t my person. I didn’t even feel bad about it. More important than anything, I didn’t close myself up. I was excited to date, and still excited to date after.

Woke up and felt like wow I really live my experiences in my dreams. It felt so real.
-
Anyways, we had to get ready to go see the house. I was a bit nervous because it was going to either be a yes or no today, and I really wondered if I was going to feel the same expansive feeling I felt last time.

We were a bit late, and at first, I kept ringing the doorbell to the wrong house. This time when we stepped in they had painted the walls, fixed the screens, and the rooms felt bigger. If anything it felt even more expansive than last time. I fell in love with it even more, and it felt even more right. Mom loved it too. It just felt so undeniably mine, so we told the realtor yes right then and there.

The only problem is that based on my research, the owner is asian and I’m pretty sure they’re looking for someone that’s asian. Some asian people did come right when we were looking too. Also, I want a dog, and I’m pretty sure they don’t want dogs. So overall I don’t know if he’s just waiting for a better offer.

But idk I followed my heart. It felt right. Now, it’s in the universe’s hands.

We went to the mandir after and I was just praying. Trying to just trust the universe to see what he/she does without panicking or trying to over control. I’m trying to trust, that I can get things without being strategic for once. That things that are meant for me will come to me without effort.

I’m actually curious to see what happens because I genuinely feel like my frequency is in the house. I don’t even know how to explain it. It literally feels mine. Like i’m a match for it 100%. Like a future version of me lives there.

While I was praying, I also came to the realization that I shouldn’t gatekeep support. If I do it to other people, of course that negative energy is going to come back to me. I see this girl L rising. Her pictures are insane, and a little part of me doesn’t want her to rise because then I felt like it invalidates my rise, like I wasn’t special. Like if she rose, I wouldn’t rise. Almost like there wasn’t an abundance. But that’s wrong. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to give and receive clean energy. Someone rising doesn’t stop me. The world is abundant.

Also realized for my photoshoots that I was going to practice poses this next month, and then trust whatever pose comes out the day of. I trust my presence. But I still need to get better at posing, so need to watch videos or take a class.

And I need to start doing things like no one is watching. A life without witnesses is how my art will come into alignment.

Something crazy also happened at the mandir, where I felt like everyone was staring at me. I didn’t even have makeup on, so I was so confused. At first I thought I was tripping, but I genuinely saw everyone casually staring at me. Whatever, I just took it as a flex for prescence but I was still so confused.

I was starving, so we went downstairs to eat. I didn’t eat too much.

Came home and I was sooooooooo drained and exhausted. I don’t even know from what but I went to sleep for 2 hours.

Mom made protein pasta, and then my aunt came to visit.

Rewatched an old rom com for a bit too.

At one point, I kind of got nervous on next steps, so made timelines with the universe on my steps. By 3pm tomorrow, if the realtor doesn’t answer, I’m going to text her saying I need an answer by tomorrow. They’ve had my application for 2 months now, so if they don’t pick me now, I’m pretty sure they’ll never pick me. No point of waiting.

And then by the 4th, if I don’t get an answer, I’m paying my rent for the month. If I do get an answer, I need the paperwork signed by the 5th, so I know when to move by then.

For my friends coming - which I don’t even know if they are or not. I found a $18 spothero for 24 hours. Great deal, so ended up grabbing that. Can always cancel if needed. At least this way, I’m not tied to staying in the washtenaw home if they do come.

Tmi - but yesterday I started freaking out about STIs and now I’m like I need to get tested. I’m also suddenly repulsed by how casual sex with strangers is in today’s world. Like bruh, did we forget about health class. Idk I’m too scared to even get tested right now. Out of nowhere grew a backbone about this to not be pressured anymore because hell no.

April 6th is also finalized for the photoshoot.

And randomly decided I’m ordering ramen tomorrow, so did my research today and saved it in my ubereats cart.

I’m taking medication for my period and kind of feel myself insanely pissed.

Intuition - I need to keep my heart chakra open while keeping my boundaries and just feel like opportunities, visbility, fame is abudant too. Moreso need to do things without an audience.

Curiosity - ramen places, why everyone was staring at me in the mandir

Joy - The expansion I felt in the new home

8/10 - Overall chill day, just was confused on why I felt so drained after

Energy:
25% - house
25% - mandir
50% - chilling by myself