6/11 - The Frequency of a Healer, Beyond my comfort zone, trusting my intuition completely.
Woke to get ready for the gym, but at a random invite for my CEO’s bday zoom, so did that and then went to the gym.
While I was at the gym, they started playing Governor Newsom’s speech. The way I felt today was interesting. It’s like part of what I mentioned yesterday, but it was a bit stronger today. I'‘m not scared, but I feel their pain with a boundary. It’s like healthy empathy where I”m not taking on their pain but I feel it to a level where I feel moved to help them through content, not personally right now. I also feel grounded. Like I’m emotionally regulated on what I have to say and feel.
I’ve never felt like this before. Usually if an issue is related to me, I’ve felt scared. I’ve barely ever felt calm. And If i feel something, I deeply feel their pain to an unhealthy level where I take on their pain. Also, when I’ve seen someone in pain, I’ve also wanted to desperately help them. I didn’t know how to create boundaries with helping. I’ve also been deseprate to make sure they really understand my message and change, and if they didn’t I would take it personally as if I didn’t do a good job conveying my message, espcially with a friend. Now, I’m like I feel moved to say what I need to say before I see people need the message, and now I just hope it reaches the right people that are ready for the message or really need it. Them making the change isn’t consuming me because I know if they’re seeing it there must be a reason.
Anyways, I facetimed my guy friend too and as usual we were bickering about dating stuff. Told him I need more depth in our convos.
After hanging up, I lifted a bit. Today was arm day. Then went to go get gas, walmart, return a UPS package, got a coffee from dunkin. Came home, ate, watched a TV show with my mom.
Worked for a bit and saw 333. I’ve been seeing a lot of numbers every single day for the past month or two. Like an Insane about. 333 is a sign to share my voice.
So I showerd, got ready, and started recording. A lot of them were coming choppy and I was nervous because I didn’t want draw attention to myself. I just wanted to help people that needed to hear my voice, and I know I needed to do this because this is what the highest version of myself would do, and a version that has millions of followers. If I’m a healer, people need healing during a tough time like this. The video wasn’t perfect, but I still posted it because I know I needed to.
And then mom and I went a hot girl walk. It was nice outside, and I got the rest of my steps in today. We were admiring all the flowers. Came home and ate some ice cream too.
Ngl I’ve been eating a bunch of random stuff today, so totally offsetting my fast from yesterday. Idk if I’m emotional eating but need to cut it out with the snacks. I might just need more protein in my diet again.
Also did some dance practice. I’m supposed to go to my friend’s house again tomorrow to practice her dance.
At night, I feel like I had the content zummies and just started recording a bunch of content while my hair was a mess. I feel like I finally found the secret to engaging content, which is talking at a 2x speed and that’s what comes up as a “normal” speed on tiktok. The way I currently talk is actually really slow, and I didn’t realize how slow, but that’s a good thing because talking slow in real life also means you think whatever you have to say is important. For tiktok, I felt like I just got the energy to talk about a topic straight without thinking.
I also think I really need to stop chatgpting my birth chart. Now, it just feels like an addition. I already have the answers I need. Now I just need to surrender, trust, and be patient. Because until I do that, I won’t be in complete alignment since I’m still looking for answers. And looking for answers mean you don’t trust to some level. But the thing is I do internally trust, and now I need to prove it with my actions too.
Anyways, by the end of the day, i did feel myself be a little hypervillegate, making sure I hear everything but trying to stay calm and talk to my body. I got this. Drinking my adaptagen drink too.
Intuition - I’m getting super close to alignment. I feel it.
9/10 - Still slightly upset at everything going on in the world, but I’m so proud of myself for doing something that’s literally beyond my comfort zone. I will not be silenced. Me and my family are devinely protected.
Energy:
50% - Trying to create content
30% - Errands, gym, walking
20% - Eating
