6/9 - Is the reality for my dreams different?
I feel like my purpose intensified today. Like I can honestly tell who needs my advice instantly and what advice I need to give them, it also feels like the healer syndrome intensified but I’m trying to stay grounded, keep my boundaries, and still protect my energy.
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Woke up and was supposed to post my palm springs dumb, but it just feel like too much, and I couldn’t sleep last night so was tired.
I had some imposter syndrome last night, but I pulled myself out of it. There’s this guy on Tiktok that I’m kind of fascinated by but he dated this one girl and that girl is just amazing. She’s so herself online, pretty, and soo soo talented. For a sec, I was like damn I could never compare to her. She was almost like a slight inspiration because that’s how I want to show up online. As myself. But I didn’t let the imposter syndrome get to me. I have something else that she doesn’t have, I’m me. I don’t need to be her. For another sec, I was putting my value on my groundedness but then I’m like no, I deserve the best, just for being me without working or proving my worth.
Anyways, woke up and went to the gym. Did the whole walking for 15 minutes, leg day, and then walking for another 15 minutes. I realized my quads weren’t that strong, so I slowly need to build endurance.
Came home and had some meetings. It sometimes blows my mind of my coworkers that are older than me don’t know how to work together, but I also somewhat get it because that’s how I felt when I actually had a real coworker. I’ve been blessed to be able to take charge of my own work for now.
Had a whole convo with my cousin because this girl he was talking to is now cold.
Anyways, ate lunch, got some more work done, crashed out, and then went to target. I found this body mist that I’m obsessed with, so got that. Also got a refresher drink on my way out.
Came home, and went on a walk to get the rest of my steps in. While I was making my eggs for dinner, my best friend called crying because she’s at this conference and the white male dean made her feel unwelcomed, so she feels like she doesn’t belong in the room and she feels like she can’t present tomorrow. I’ve been giving her courage but also emotionally creating a boundary.
Ways I’ve helped:
1. The guy I’m fascinated with on IG. I feel like I have answers to all his content.
2. Anyways, my cousin messaged me saying the girl he was talking to now is acting cold. It’s cause he’s being tested.
3. My best friend called crying and me soothing her.
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At night, I saw a lot on all the ICE protests happening in LA, and honestly I’m proud of people for standing up. I just hope we’re not blindsighted like trump winning. Celebrities are sharing the message too and I”m sure most of it is for clout, but they’re still sharing it.
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I think from all my themes of people today, a lot of people think the reality of getting something is really different than actually getting it. Like my cousin still operates from a desperate frequency. The guy online isn’t aligned to his highest self, there’s bitterness to him. And my best friend is now being shown the side of needing to create room in big spaces, she’s just realizing it’s not magical.
I also saw another tiktoker who now has thousands of followers and she was talking about her anxiety while filming.
Makes me wonder if I’m being shown all this - do I think the reality is different too?
I posted another tiktok and this one did terrible, but It could just be the message, so going to try the same format a couple of more times. But I did ask the universe if I’m in alignment yet.
Idk if me helping or noticing people with this topic and answers is just content that I need to share with the world or if it’s a message for me.
Regarding my healings - Everything I needed to learn is over. That doesn’t mean I’m not presented with the situations but I am able to pull myself out of it instantly. It’s things I’ve learned being reused now, so now I stay grounded because it’s like I have the answers to all my questions already for the most part. I don’t think I’m amazed by new insights anymore. Just old insights recycling.
Intuition - Now I see common themes of healing needed in other people not as a reflection of me but as a sign of what message I need to share to the world. It’s like inspiration for content because I see multiple people facing the issue and don’t don’t have an answer.
8/10 - I felt like I’m getting closer to figuring out the exact path to spread my message
Energy:
80% - helping people
20% - wondering how to get my messsage across
