6/1 - having emotional boundaries doesn’t make you less empathetic
Since we came home late, we all woke up kind of late too. I woke up a bit early but didn’t have energy to go to the gym because I kept conviencing myself I was going to go back to the gym. The orginal plan was that we were going to have two hours of pool time before going to our drag brunch. I ended up getting fully ready and told myself I wasn’t going to go in the water right now since I wanted pictures. My white friend wanted to go in the water and wanted more pool time, so she went ahead while we were still getting ready. I had already curled my hair a bit last night, so just wanted to retouch it up a bit.
While I was doing that, my twin friends got a call saying one of their close friends fell out of the window and was in a coma. After hearing this, they were immediately traumatized. One started puking and the other one started shaking. I was talking to them and trying to comfort them but for once, I wasn’t taking on their pain.
I asked them if they wanted to cancel but they didn’t, so I texted my white friend that we had an emergency. The hotel was famous for their mini in hotel boat ride, so I got tickets to do that today since it was our last day. 12pm was the only time slot they had available that would work for us before the brunch. The girls were a bit quiet on the boat ride, but they still enjoyed it.
My other friend went to go get ready while us 3 decided to go chill at the pool. The girls were super quiet, so I had a whole spirtual talk with them about how there was probably a reason. They told me he was a drug dealer and was just f’in up his life and that he almost died many times. The crazy part is that he fell out the window at his own bday party and the girls were invited to that, so would have basically seen it live. The trip was almost a form of protection for them because god knew they wouldn’t be able to handle the trauma if it all happened live in front of them. And maybe this was the only way he was going to change his life.
We were at the pool for only a bit before we went upstairs to change for our brunch outfits. I ended up taking an edible. The brunch was in downtown palm springs, so it was all just so pretty and popping. Probably the most vibrant part of the city, but it was also very hot.
As soon as we entered the brunch, it kind of smelled a bit. The girls got bottomless mimosas, and I got a Shirley Temple. There was also a minimum of $35 per person, so we got food. I got some toast, with butter and jam. I literally love that. It’s so simple but literally my fav. We also ordered some chilequels and while my friend was eating, she found a piece of glass. The way we were shook. Lolol her sister was chatgpting how to sue them and was so convienced that this was her way to fame. They brought out a new version, but we ended up barely eating it cause we were scared. At the end, they also charged us for guac, when we didn’t get any. Overall too many fuck ups.
They took the glass dish and the avacado out of the bill but nothing else, so I tried talking to them but it didn’t work. Overall the drag dancers were kind of mid too. This place I went to Chicago two years ago, was way better.
When we got out, the piano hotel was right in front of us, so we went there and took a bunch of pictures. I got a lot of good ones there from my camera. At one point, I kind of felt annoying for wanting pictures. Basically trauma from my other friend’s birthday, but I pushed through. While we were talking, since my white friend was a bit tipsy, she randomly opened up and told us her brother was disabled and that’s why she’s never had a good relationship with him. Ngl going to lie this kind of came out of left field. But I also know her and just told everyone to hug her but not give it too much attention or talk about it because she doesn’t like doing that. She just wanted to tell us but she didn’t want to cry about it. I’ve always known she just needed love, but now it all also makes sense. She’s also had an eater disorder before and is not feeling great about her body right now. I can tell she’s been through a lot and needs to heal. But also another instance today where I didn’t make someone else’s pain my pain. I was compassionate but not empathetic.
Anyways, while we were at the hotel, some random gay guy started talking to us. I thought it was entertaining so was just asking him “what do you think everyone’s aura is” and got him to take a picture of us. That’s when he was like we can run up my husband’s tab and my white friend and other twin literally blindly started following him. I started getting anxious because wtf, he was just taking us to some back streets. How stupid could we be to follow him. He took us to some club, where his friends were literally weird looking. They deadass looked like trafficers, so I literally told them I wanted to go. My friend asked to order drinks and he was like he was done drinking. Wtf, we literally just wasted so much time following some random gay dude. The one good thing was that he said I was the only one that looked cuffed. I had relationship aura, but lolol I was the most single. He was almost just gassing himself up. Another crazy experience.
By this point, all I had was my toast and although I wasn’t really feeling my edible, I was kinda munchy hungry and wanted food. My other friend was hot, so she wanted to go home.
I was looking for some tacos and ended up at this place where they were playing live music outdoors, it was cute and I wanted hot food, so I told them to come back. My other friend really wanted to go home but I was strict about what I wanted. I got a virgin mango drink with a burrito. They got a huge alcoholic mango drink. My food was soo good. I ate half and we left.
As soon as we got to the hotel, we saw our car battery was dying. We asked the hotel concierge how to charge and he said it would take hours, so we decided that we weren’t going to take an uber to the ariel trampway instead. My white friend was exhausted, so didn’t want to come. She wanted more pool time.
I went upstairs and devoured the rest of my burrito because leaving for the trampway. Even getting to it was a whole road and it was cool. The tramway itself was kind of like a whole rotating one. Apparently it was the biggest rotating one in the world. Idk what it was but it was sooo cool. Took tons of videos. Unfortunately, it was gloomy, so even though we went during sunset, we couldn’t see the sun view. Mainly just clouds.
As soon as we got up, the vibes were very homey on cabin like. I stepped out for a sec to take a video, but it was still gloomy, a bit drizzley and just kinda cold. The top had a whole cafeteria going on. I wanted a drink so I got a poppi and some M&Ms. They got a slice of pizza. Overall we were just talking and checking out the different floors. All of us loved the vibes. We even went to the gift shop. I was chatting with the guy there. At the bottom floor, they had real perserved bears and eagles. It was really cool. On our way back, we kind of missed the tramp, so we went back to the top floor and took picturs with the tripod I brought. Lmao self self-timer was great. We ended up taking the 9pm tramp, the second to last one. The way down was soo cool cause it was dark by that point and they even had music. We were also able to see the night lights. Honestly, it kind of felt like twin peaks in SF. While we were going down, I was just so happy to have been doing this experience with my friends beacuse it meant so much. Way more than I would have felt with a guy.
When we came down, the uber said it was 16 minutes away, so we were just charging our phones and talking.
One of the twins asked me something, and I started opening up about while I’m so hyper aware of people’s emotions and how it’s almost a coping mechanism. By the time I was done, the uber came. Somehow the guy was funny and was in the army, so I was just asking him random questions.
We got to the hotel at 10pm, so pretty late. Before going up, I just wanted to take everything in, so I stayed back to take pictures. Once upon a time ago, I saw this place on my tiktok and it was in my secret vision board, so being here actually felt monumental. I had to take a video to capture it. I stayed down, until my phone died. I wanted to go back down after my phone charged and my other friend wanted food, so I went back down with her. I brought my laptop to journal but I also took another edible, so just wasn’t feeling it. While me and my white friend were chilling, she told me how she gets extreme anxiety on the daily and it gets super bad for her, so heard her out before we went back upstairs.
Intuiton - People talk to me because they feel safe, and if I’m going to help millions of girls, it’s important that I can hear them out without taking on their pain.
6/10 - It was kind of emotionally heavy, and part of me is a bit ready to go back home but overall still a good day. The tramp def felt like a very memorable experience almost felt like being in switzerland.
Energy:
50% - being there for the girlies emotions
20% - experiences
10% - pictures
10% - food
10% - taking everything in
