5/30 - Blessings aren’t always protection, sometimes they’re blessings

I woke up at my mom screaming at me because she thought I was late for my flight, but I still had a couple of hours to wake up. But as soon as I woke up from that, I saw someone purchased something using my discover card, which I haven’t used in a bit, so at first I thought I lost my card and immediately froze it. Then I saw I got an email from groupon saying there was someone that logged in, and after logging into my groupon account, I saw that my discover card was linked. Immediately changed the password, but then 10 minutes later they got access to that account too. For a second, I was scared they had access to my gmail, which would have been a larger issue, but after changing in for the second time, I didn’t see another round of activity.

Still on the catious side though. Anyways, this is what happened at 5am and couldn’t sleep after. Part of me thinks the universe was testing me to see if I would still freak out with inbalance in money, but honestly this time, I was more worried about my email being compromised.

Anyways, got ready for my flight. I was still feeling a slight bit of anxiety with just leaving my mom, allowing myself to feel joy, and just nothing going wrong. The past trauma was kicking in a bit.

But I tried staying calm, got to the airport on time, got starbucks, and while I was waiting to board, I went on the app to see if there were better seats available since I literally had the last one on the plane. There was, so I went up to desk and asked and she literally upgraded me to row 13 for free.

Part of me started freaking out if something was going to happen to the plane, especially if my seat changed. Like I know I’m protected, but I didn’t want anything bad to happen too. That made me even more anxious. My phone was also dying the whole flight but just slept through most of it. Made it safely. Nothing happened.

Blessings don’t always mean divine protection. Sometimes they can just be happiness.

The flight even landed early, so I got there the same time as my other friends. We ubered together and honestly even though I haven’t seen them in 6 months, it felt like I saw them yesterday.

We got to the hotel, and my other friend already checked us in, so we got straight to getting ready for the pool. As soon as we got in, I made it clear that my other friend T doesn’t like anyone touching her bed with outside clothes.

After going to the pool, we got some food, and I ended up getting a Pina Colada. The other girlies were just drinking and vibing.

At one point, I was drinking my water and a random old guy started talking to me, so I started taking back as a fun thing. Lol was hoping he’d buy us a drink. As a joke, I was talking about it and the rest of his pals started coming over and talking to us.

My white friend literally carried the conversation and started vibing with the old dude. Mine you he looked like Mark Salone from Grey’s. Even I thought he was hot. By the end of our pool time, the dude literally asked for my friend’s number and was sending her winky faces. I’m pretty sure he thought he got a young girl. Crazy. By this time, my friend was already drunk so she facetimed her other best friend asking if she should consider it. Lmao like lolol this def was a story.

She also ended up getting in her feels and kept thinking she was being annoying. I told her she wasn’t and she needs to stop thinking that. My other two friends went upstairs, so it was just us and she told me that sometimes she doesn’t understand why she can’t just compromise and that she feels like she’s too much because she doesn’t let other people have their way. I had to have a whole heart to heart about how someone else’s lack of boundaries isn’t her responsibility.

Anyways, we went upstairs after that and got ready to go to a comedy show after showering. We literally ubered 30 minutes and after getting there it was literally shit. It was so bad, none of us laughed and we almost were falling asleep. I ended up going to the bathroom and calling my mom because I was so bored. After the show, the hotel next door had a photobooth and a cool piano area. We got a cute photobooth picture. I loveeeeee photobooths. I don’t care how expensive it is, I literally always take a photobooth picture.

We also took a picture at the piano. lmao the picture I took of my friend came out so good, and my pictures came out like shit. The background went crazy tho. I was obsessed.

My friends snuck out alcohol, and the friend that had wine used my shirt to cover-up. Lol she ended up spilling, so my shirt got stained. Was slightly mad.

On our way back, the girls wanted to stop at 7/11 to get alcohol, so me and my white friend went it and got some chips too. The uber driver was a bit wild, talking about shrooms and stuff.

By the time we got home, we were exhausted and knocked out. Lmao me and my white friend did our night routine before that. It’s so funny how there was clear divide of two types of people.

10/10 - Overall though, I had a great time and I love how I’m fully able to be myself with this friend group. That’s how friendships are supposed to feel. They’re supposed to feel safe. Time felt like it never passed. I went like I was old me and new me at the same time. I don’t know how to explain it but I was two versions in one.

Intuition - I was right about letting go of my other friends. And nothing is going to happen. I’m done with my trauma days.

Energy:

50% - Panicking
50% - being thankful to have fun