5/29 - I had it all wrong & allowing myself to feel joy
This morning started off really heavy, with a whole menty B. I just felt like crying and just didn’t know what was going on. Why was I getting all the relationship healing out of nowhere.
Went to the gym early morning to get back on track and run errands before my work meeting.
While I was at the gym, it all hit me, I actually am still progressing towards my success healing. For relationships, if I came across the whole sibling issue, I was just consider it unalignment and drop the person.
The true lesson behind the healing was that “I will not get punished for speaking the truth.” And it was shown to me through my best friend. Beacuse honestly that whole situation with my best friend and her sister was so unnecessary. We were fine day of, and I ended up unblocking her because I realized she probably doesn’t even know I blocked her.
But my truth was not punished. And that’s sooo important to overcome when I’m going to be honest online.
And then the whole feeling/trauma behind going on vacation, is healing the “Joy isn’t safe. Freedom comes with consequences. If I choose myself, someone I love might suffer.” Because if I do end up getting fame, I know I’d blame myself if something happened to my mom. I’ve done it before. So that’s why this is happening right now, and I’m literally going to the perfect place at the perfect time. A while ago, I saw that LA area is a place where my creativity thrives. And Joshua Tree is where people find spritual alignment, like sedona.
It feels like everything is happening all at once too fast because I’m the one that asked for it when I prayed last time. Maybe that’s why I’ve been getting daily lessons, so I can process it all and reflect and write because that’s how i’m learning and sharing at the end of the day. Most people have everything happen at once. But I’m not supposed to have that happen, I’m supposed to share what I learn each day.
Honestly, I think I’m finally starting to accept it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. Because I’m clearly still learning important things. That I didn’t even know I needed to learn. It feels like I’m just posting to post right now, but that’s probably because I’m just devoloping my editing/social media skills right now. I’m not supposed to be exactly in alignment right now. I’m just supposed to try random things and have fun. It’s the learning period.
I have to also remember that even this feeling like my purpose. I literally coudn’t have done this 2 years ago, no matter how bad I wanted to do it. The events needed to happen in order. So even right now, the events are playing out. I know I’m super close though. I feel it.
Anyways, my gym session went good. Got 5k steps in, and lifted a bit. Then went to starbucks, and got coffee, and then went to target to get last minute clothes/bikinis since none of my amazon ones fit. It took a while, but I got everything I wanted.
Came home, and took my meetings and worked. Somehow was super quick and productive today. Went back to walgreens to get my mom’s medication. There was a whole issue yesterday with it. She has an alergy to a type of medication, and the dentist prescribed something similar, had the pharmacist not have said something, my mom could have gotten an alergy. So spent today fixing it and getting a new one. I kept telling myself that me and my family are being protected by the devine, which is porbably why I was a little late in getting the medication too.
Came home and then did laundry and showered. And packed. Now exhausted.
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I’m still a little nervous about leaving my mom, but I’m trying to calm my nervous system down, and allow myself to feel joy.
Inuition - My mom will be fine, Everything will be fine.
8/10 - It was super busy but I feel less of wreck now that I know the reason behind everything again,
Energy:
33% - shopping
33% - packing
33% - work
