8/27/25 - Stuck between fighting and trusting

Today is Ganesh Chaturti, one of my favorite times of the year. Felt calm in the morning, and woke up pretty late.

Initially, I wanted to have a super productive work day. But mom needed to go the salon, so I dropped her off and dropped off some things at good will.

Came back and had my all hands meetings.

At the end of all hands, my boss announced that one of my coworkers got a promotion. The same coworker I had almost convinced that she needed to start her own thing and stop fighting my boss. Clearly, her annoying my boss and fighting for her promotion worked.

At first, I was like I’m a queen, I don’t fight for shit. I trust the universe to deliver while I stay in my feminine energy.

I was more so annoyed like wtf, this promotion was totally mine what is up with the universe taking forever on things I deserve. Like now, I’m getting pissed.

So I took a nap but was still upset, so made coffee, took a shower, and went on a walk and on my walk I was letting out my frustration. Like wtf just cause I’m quiet and trusting the universe, now everyone is just walking over me. Like my owner hasn’t said shit either. And my tax guy answered this morning telling me to go to the IRS, like wtf did I pay him for then.

There’s just soooo much fighting for what’s mine going on that I’m pissed. And I kept going back and forth on if I should still trust or if all these people need a stern piece of me that shakes them. But even then it feels like fighting and begging, and I don’t want to do that.

I’m confused on what the universe is testing me.

Part of me just wants to snap at my boss and be like “Clearly, I’m being played and disrespected and people are getting promotions, so what’s the status on mine.”
_

Anyways came home, and realized I needed to still book a hotel for my friends wedding but the wedding block was sold out. At first the website was tweaking and I was getting scared because if I didn’t book this my best friend would kill me. But it worked and it was super expensive, so I booked another reservation on a cheaper website but I called and they said they couldn’t find the resy. Thank god I still have the other one, but again literally fighting for a reservation too.

Like why the fuck is everything so hard right now. Why the hell do I have to fight for every single thing. At this point, I need some wins. I feel like I haven’t gotten a win in so long. Just trusting and fighting.

Also got renters insurance, but I don’t think it’s going to do anything cause even it literally says it doesn’t cover sewage floods since it’s preventable. I am literally not going to leave my landlord, just waiting to move at this point.

Back to the promotion - Idk what the highest frequency of abudance is.

I did some chat gpting and I’m going to stay in my feminine energy because what’s mine will come to me no matter what. My energy commands on its own. I’m going to hold the energy. I’m not begging for shit. The universe will do it and honestly punish them too because I’m so divinely protected that anyone who does me dirty is fucked.

5/10 - Started off calm, but now I’m pissed on what my next moves are.

Intuition - My body is telling me to not fight and stay in my feminine energy.

Energy:
20% - Chilling
80% - Pissed about being played at work