8/26/25 - The Sky is limitless. The day my audacity bends to the universe.
I finally slept good after the past 2 days but woke up with my owner knocking on the door. I hadn’t even put contacts on yet, but I was so chill and barely talked to him and then went to my room. They were done in 5 minutes.
I fell back asleep, and woke up feeling sooooo much better. Not miserable like yesterday.
What if god told me my next house has all my dreams come true? My energy. My person. My life. My wealth. Everything I want will come true in that house. Would I move? Yes.
The funny thing is my inner knowing has been telling me this. Even before all this happened. I knew I needed to move. But I was too comfortable and lazy and thought I couldn’t get anything better, so I thought I had to settle for this. But this was god’s way of telling me it does get better. You can move to a house/neighborhood where you feel rich and grounded, it’s homey, and it’s close to the mandir/stores for your mom. It’s possible. You don’t have to stay in a neighborhood you outgrew the frequency of just because you don’t think you can get it all.
It’s like a guy. I really can get the perfect guy. I don’t need to settle.
And then if I had just made the decision on my own in Feb, would I be okay?
Yes, I would be since my lease is ending and I would have time to mentally and physically prepare. Well it turns out, I did have time to mentally prepare. I’ve been feeling stuck for months now. And I have more than a month to physically prepare. Also, it is my decision to move. I’m not being thrown out. I can still pick the date.
As far as my lease, I know the universe will figure it out. That’s not something I need to worry about. Also, my landlord already said I could move out. And if the universe did all this work to have me detach, the lease ending is light work for my manifestation to come true.
Just the knowing that my luck changes in my next house and I’m just not renewing my lease makes me feel so much better. And happy and excited again. It simplifies this month to “I’m just moving next month, so preparing for that” and climate the rest of the things associated with it.
Also, this time! I get to move with my mom and I in peace. Something, I couldn’t do last time.
So basically just cutting out the noise and saying to myself, I’m moving a month.
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Worked for a bit. Washed my hair, felt like I was cleansing energy too. Ate and took a nap.
I woke up for this interview I needed to do, but quickly made coffee before that. The interview went good. Idk if I’m going to hire her yet.
At like 5ish, mom and I went on a walk by belmont. Traffic wasn’t that bad and at first all I could think about was how just a year ago, I was at the same spot but my mom was in the hospital and now I’m on the walk with her.
I feel like lately, I’ve been rewriting everything that has my negative memories associated with it. Like my favorite corset, this walk, everything. Just feels like a huge purge.
Anyways, I walked with mom for a bit and then sat down with her. While I was walking with her, despite being in “nature” and in such open air. I felt suffocated and boxed. We took a cute picture and ate our banana together. That’s when I realized that I’m not in love with the skyline as I used to be. And this time the element I’m attracted to is the sky.
I started walking on my own and that’s when it all hit me. I used to love the skyline because I wanted to be a part of the skyline at one point. I wanted to be accepted and wanted validation. Now, all I see is the sky. I see the ability to make my own skyline however the way I want to make it.
The skyline feels like conformity. Where there are limits to my dreams from a view point. When I’m actually walking in the city, the huge buildings just feel like blockers/restrictions.
At one point, the buildings felt so big. They allowed me to hide. Now, that’s same big buildings feel sufforcating. Like I’m bigger than them.
The buildings represented everything I thought were my restrictions. Like being indian. Being a girl. Living on devon. But recently, I’ve knocked everything down. From the bottom of my heart, I don’t think anything is a disadvantage for me anymore.
I’m on an equal playing field to everyone. And it’s crazy how I realized this same thing for dating a year ago, but I was still thinking in terms of race and religion.
Now, that’s broken down to. I genuinely think I’m the same as a white male. And I’m not scared of anyone anymore.
I’m convinced that everything that makes me “different” is all my powers that are actually going to help me win.
And that’s why I think I’ve knocked down every building to the point, I only see the sky. The sky is limitless. I don’t care about any one validation or rules or anything. All I see a sky, where anything can happen.
And I think that’s why now I’m attracted to any race. Somehow race was limit for me too. Maybe I limited myself to indians because I thought no one else would be attracted to me. I felt inferior. But now I don’t. I’m just as equal as a white female in the dating world.
NOTHING IS A LIMIT.
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On our way back, my mom’s legs started tingling. I’ve been worried about her nerpathy. Need to figure something out for it.
My cousin dropped off my camera, to picked it up, then went to the bank, dropped mom off at the mandir since today was the first day for ganpati. Meanwhile, I went to walgreens to get my medication but there was a huge line, so I went to whole foods. Got the brown butter cookies I was craving, some exotic cheddar cheese, my drinky drinks de soi, and some breakfast cake. Lmao basically all snacks.
Came home, and watched TV with mom and helped out with dishes. I’m trying to be better at it.
Still need to fully get into my routine but got my 10k steps in, so made a step in the right direction. Just need to get my morning and night routine locked in again.
I’m also now patiently trusting the right house will magically show up for me.
Intuition - My audacity is insane to the point I refuse to give up. The universe will need to match my audacity.
10/10 - Felt soooo much better today after being down for 2 weeks.
Energy:
80% - positive energy/perspective
10% - spending time with mom
10% - Errands/chores
