8/24/25 - My future

Woke up super excited to go back home and back into my space. I just felt so displaced, ungrounded, and restless. I needed things to be normal again. I needed to find someone peace again.

Showered and packed up. Most and I left my aunt’s house around 11:45am and came home to find out the indian parade was happening. My mom was super excited and went to check it out because I told her we’re moving out of devon and she was like “idk if I’ll be this close and come again”. I can tell she’s mourning her time on devon. This is where she’s lived for the past 25 years. This is where I grew up for the past 25 years. Crazy.

Anyways, she went to the parade and I unloaded the car, and put everything away and immediately started cleaning the bathroom. The cleaning lady did clean everything for the most part but still needed to briefly clean over.

After doing a little of the upper stuff, mom and I went to go see the glenview house and I immediately hated it. The neighborhood didn’t feel like anything too. I kept thinking about the northbrook house, so after seeing the glenview house I took mom to the mandir and texted the owner of the northbrook one to see if he can urgently do a showing since we were in the area. He ended up saying yes, so we went to go see the northbrook one at 3:30pm

This time the actual owner was available. Last time the sister did the showing. Immediately, I was like wait the owner is kind of hot. And when we stepped it, it was soooo much more cleaner this time and smelled way better. Still dusty but better and immediately when I walked in again I could see myself living there. I just have a feeling that’s the one.

And even though some things are smaller, like the bathroom’s are smaller overall just felt bigger and felt like I could breathe. The owner is a little stingy, so Idk how I feel about it but whatever. I’m going to go at my pace because if it’s meant for me, it’s meant for me.

It’s crazy though cause I feel like my future life flashes everytime I’m at the home. Like where my christmas tree would be, my dog and everything.

I even showed mom the downtown across the street and the coffee shop and she also felt like the vibes were different and I felt the same I felt that day. Like a future version of me lives there. The next version of me.

We went to a pizza spot afterwards and it felt so removed from our actual reality. Like I was in an alternate universe, a girl that was born rich and privelaged. It’s crazy how northbrook is a white town and until recently, I would have been uncomfortable but now I don’t care. I feel like I belong with them. Almost like my frequency matches with them. They don’t feel superior anymore.

The pizza was good. It felt like a cute catch up with my mom. On our way back, we quickly stopped at khols to do returns and came back and put the laundry but just watched TV because we were so tired.

In my current home, even though there’s so much space, I feel like I can’t breathe. A lot of it just furniture. The only real movement space feels like my desk, and sofa. Everything else is just there. I know I have a whole room here too but it also feels unusable for some reason. Idk why.

The girl from yday texted me in the morning asking how much she should venmo for parking and honestly am going to wean her off. Like I’ll answer 2 days later, and be like it’s totally fine. And then if she asks to hangout, I’m just going to tell her i’m busy and never follow up with her. And i don’t feel back because she would do the same if she had options.

The house still kind of feels like a mess, so have just been walking around in shoes. I feels like peace but doesn’t feel like a permanent home. I’m 100% sure god wants me to move out.

The owner from the northbrook place also texted but I’m going to tell him my negotations tomorrow.

Also, my other friend texted the one that I’m also trying to wean off. She’s being nice, but I’m going to play kill them with kindness.

At night, we also looked up the “right directions” for the house and they matched.

Intuition - I’m moving into that house. I know god is going to make it happen.

7/10 - Busy and still feel confused, but I have faith.

Energy:
40% - I feel energized seeing the house and northbrook
60% - Trying to get my life back in order