8/22/25 - People mirrors

I woke up with this intense hate that my cousin never helps in the kitchen or helps his mom, but realized that literally that’s me. At home, I don’t help my mom. He’s a mirror of me that just cares about himself, his mental health.

That’s when I was like okay… got to change. I have to help.

I’ve been waking super early for the past couple of days but went back to sleep and then woke up just in time to get ready to go to the townhouse showing.

As soon as I entered northbrook, I loved the energy. It was green and friendly, even the location. The house was in front of a cute downtown and lately I’ve been having a passion for cute downtowns. BUTTT as soon as I entered the house it was sooooooo dirty and smelled weird.

I could see myself living there and just felt sooo free but I was looking at the lense of it being dirty and idk how I felt about that. But I LOVEED THE NEIGHBORHOOD! Even the house, I can imagine myself getting a dog there.

The owner’s sister was the one showing me the place and after I was done, she came out with me and said yeah it was super dirty and they would deep clean everything but idk how much I trust that.

After the showing, I went to a coffee shop and holy shit it was so rich. I could totally imagine a wealthy version of me looking in the area. Exactly what my next chapter needs. Even was friendly with the barista.
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Left there and went to my current home and the difference was insane. Like my current place is wayyyyyy nicer and newer. I fixed the internet too, so the security camera works again. Even took my meeting from my kitchen. And I sat there for a bit and although it looked pretty, the house felt like a box. It felt suffocating, and the neighborhood felt even more suffocating.

While comparing it to the other place and neighborhood, it felt like I could breathe again, which is crazy because the quality difference was insane.

But also I found another place in glenview, so going to go see the place there on sunday. That one is newer, but I wonder if I don’t like new anymore. Or maybe I do, idk.

All I know, is the version I can see myself living in that home is free, rooted, and with a dog.

Also saw my mail and my tax thing is still not fixed, so need to deal with that.

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Came home and was drained, so ate and just went into my cousin’s room to just chill before needing to go to my workout class with the new friend I made.

As soon as I got there, so she was a little drained but we did our workout, and then drove her home. We were both to exhausted to even talk cause the workout class drained us.

After dropping her off, went to whole foods to do some returns but my legs were shaking.

On my way home, I realized that she was an exact mirror of me. I can sense, she’s brave and has aduacity but is scared to fully be herself in the fear or being too much or being disliked or rejected or judged. And i feel that too, she’s just like me. But I’m trying and I see her trying. It’s like a slow burn relationship and every time one of us be’s ourselve, we expose more layers, which is interesting.
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Everyone being a mirror of me is i know true but extra interesting today.
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My mom and cousin went to the mandir, so I was just home by myself and decided to journal.