8/21/25 - No one disrespects me. Purpose & clarity

Woke up super early and anxious because we were going back home today, and I made it a mission to get at least get someone on the phone to get my case started because I’m ready to fight but something just felt uneasy. I didn’t feel like I had a grounding aim for what I was fighting for.

I called some non-emergency police department number but they didn’t answer again. I couldn’t get a hold of anyone today. Was supposed to have a meeting but that got canceled, so at 10am I finally called back the non-emergency police number and got a hold of someone.

She basically said I was in the right, but I needed to contract 311. So then I contacted 311, and somehow got a hold of someone but also said I needed to contact someone in legal. The legal number they gave me didn’t really work, but I found another hotline and called there, but didn’t get an answer.

Decided to go to a yin yoga class since I was super stressed, also needed to go to my house to see if the repairs were done.

At the yoga class, I got the exact clarity I needed. The class was about detachment to outcome. For me it was if I detached to how much I got back, why was I fighting back so much? And then it hit me - I was fighting for my respect. The fact that he thought he could scare me. The fact that I’m tired of legal systems fearing me and me not saying anything. My worth and my respect. And sure I’ve been seeing that this fight is on my worth, but I kept thinking my worth was tied to the monetary value too. Like how much I think I ask for and all. Now, I’m like i don’t give a shit how much I have to spend to sue too. I know the universe is on my side.

I had empathy for him until now, which is why I kept wavering on the fight. But now, I’m like no he flat right disrespected me and thought I was stupid and can scare me or shut me down. Lmao. But now, I don’t care about the outcome. I’m fighting for my respect. If I don’t let my own friends, family or love life disrespect me, who is he.

Anyways, that’s the clarity I was looking for to fight. My purpose.

I decided I was going to think of him like I think of my friends that I don’t talk to anymore. I cut my energy off to them but I’m still friendly. If I did see him today, I was just going to say hi. Nothing else.

During yoga, I really pushed my body to release all the stored tension and took a lot of deep breaths. It was hard.

After yoga, I went to my house to check it out, and the owner was there but I walked in on the phone and when I was done he walked out. We were basically avoiding each other. The boards were done, and there was a cleaning lady there too. Everything was still dispatched though, but at least the energy didn’t feel dirty to me. I got whatever I needed from the fridge and left without saying anything.

I’m pretty sure he thinks I got scared after he threatened me with notices and probably thinks he shut me down.

Anyways, on my way to my aunt’s house, I called the legal services again and got on the que this time. So came home and started eating but was on hold. Mid-way through eating, I got a hold of an attorney.

The main thing she said was “don’t let him know you’re going to sue him.” because If I sue him while living there, he’s going to use it against me. So I need to break out of the lease but make sure there isn’t a clause against not being able to sue him. Doing anything legally right now, won’t be wise though. I did file with 311 to see if there isn’t a compliance, and I could get my own plumber to at least document, just need to find one that is willing to come.

Came back and ate but that’s when I’m like maybe me being an underdog is my super power because people don’t see me as a threat but I calculate my moves, observe, gather information and when I strike, I strike so hard that no one can come back from it. And that’s what I’m going to do with him.

Like I decided after yoga, I’m going to treat him like I treat the friends I don’t talk to anymore. I cut my energy to them.

After lunch, my mom decided we were going to go on sunday. I also really wanted a cookie, so I got my cousin to come with me to get cookies but we had to run other errands too, and at that point I was exhausted.

We made pasta for dinner and watched some of our normal shows. I started freaking out a bit about how I’ll be able to move if I’m stuck in this lease.

But then I’m like whatever is meant to happen, will happen with ease. If not, then it’s not.

Like out of nowhere, I got a hold of everyone today and got the information I needed because if I got a hold of the wrong people yesterday and was in the wrong energy, I might have done something wrong. I might have sent him a demand letter, messing things up. Yesterday I felt resistance. Today I felt alignment.

So same with this house. What’s the worst that can happen? I get renters insurance and have to stay until march? I already don’t care about the money, and I’m still going to sue him since I have 2 years. I’m not letting him go for disrespecting me.

If I’m meant to go to my house, it’ll all work out with ease. The universe creates resistance until there is supposed to be alignment.

Later found out I’m officially on my period and have been wondering if this is why things feel extra hard this time around.

Also feels a little weird, cause I feel like I should be back at my house now since I was already expecting to go. And my cousin’s always on his phone.

Intuition - As long as I’m fighting for my worth without fear, nothing can go wrong

7/10 - Made a lot of calls today, but I feel like I made progress.

Energy:
40% - Clarity
40% - Making progress with the legal calls
20% - Free will and chill