8/14/25 - regulating my nervous system, meeting a friend that matches my frequency

I couldn’t sleep last night cause I kept thinking of solutions for possible case scenarios. Especially since everything I’ve prepared for has worked in my favor the past 2 days and it’s put me in a position of power.

So I ended up waking up at 6am, and started getting to work to do all the leftover things that needed to be done before we left. Took out the trash, started putting everything in the car, but I was still super anxious. All I wanted was no mess, I quietly wanted to leave the apartment. I did not want to fight or argue. I didn’t want to put any more energy into this situation. Whatever I was going to do, I was going to do in my terms.

I ended up politely texting the owner’s wife, asking her if they were coming and what time. Proof that I was complying in case they decided to say I wasn’t with useless notices.

Mom and I went the bank to put some valuable things in the bank and then we went to the mandir. Again prayed god to give me strength.

After the mandir, came back home, took videos of everything and then we were just waiting for the owner to come. I did some chat gpting and I finally found an answer I’m satisfied with the universe is testing if I can fight for myself. People are going to manipulate me, intimidate me, and threaten me. I already have the hard skills to fight this. I literally just did all this for my malta contract. But this time instead of fighting for my company, I’m fighting for myself. Whatever I accept as the base for this is letting the universe know where I am. Plus, I’m going to have to do this for my business quantum jump. I need to negotiate contracts for myself, and fight legal battles with companies that have whole legal teams.

This is a clear win. The question is do I believe in myself and what do I accept. Internally I do thought fully. And I knew the minute it happened that something good was going to come out of it.

Lmaoooo the plot twist I didn’t expect was a worker came first. We still left and I didn’t care cause that still strengthens my case.

We still left and then I stopped by whole foods to do some returns. God a brown butter cookie and a cupcake for my cousin.

We got to my aunts house and I literally knocked out. I finally felt like my nervous system was trying to regulate itself and it was exhausted. After 3 days of fight or flight I finally felt safe, but I was completely drained.

I literally couldn’t even eat anything, but found the energy to eat a little and then went inside, did some light make up and did my hair before going to my yoga class.

I literally got to my yoga class exactly at 7:01pm and the facebook girl was already there.

During the class, I just meditated and tried not to think about what to say to the girl next to me, who I barely got words in with. I kept imaginging energy coming back into me, and grounded myself.

I knew I was going to win. It became clear. And even after the class, i kept reminding myself, do I like this girl instead of worrying about if she liked me.

We started talking and she was so nice. I told her I could drop her home and she asked if I had dinner, so we ended up going to taco maya, but it happened naturally and I didn’t have to lead or overextend myself.

While I was talking to her, both of us were keeping the conversation going. It was new, but it wasn’t awkward or I wasn’t overextening myself. We were still ourselves.

So literally the fact that I was going crazy over extending new friendships was all my anxiety. She literally matches my frequency, and for once I feel like I’m going to have a healthy friendship with her.

The thing that really stands out about her is how balsy she is but at the same time people are a mirror of you, so that means that’s how balsy I am too.

Anyways, dropped her off and then went to my masi’s house. They were eating, but I felt energized again, so we caught up on our daily shows.

One thing is that my masi’s house feels homey. Like I actually like sitting in the living room, compared to my own living room. My house looks pretty but their house feels like home.

8/10 - Was completely drained today, and slept for most of it, but I feel like I regulated my system today, detached myself from whatever was happening to get my spark back.

Intuition - I will win.

Energy:
10% - praying
20% - worrying
60% - regulating my nervous system + resting
10% - letting my new friendship flow