8/2/25 - So planned. So protected. Discernment energy.
I woke up and started seeing TikToks from lolla + all the pop-ups going around in the city. I couldn’t help but kind of wish I had people to go with, but also deep down I know I’ve been protected.
I feel like my social life was always divinely protected too.
Example: when I lived in SF, I wanted to go out and party but I got that AFTER moving out of SF so I can still experience it but not be consumed in that lifestyle or get into alcohol.
Same with now, I really want to go to concerts and festivals but like I’m no where near those type of people/friends. I feel like god wants me to not be in the party lifestyle.
But he gives me batches of the joy to the point where I don’t rebel.
Hence, I had my partying in college for the most part and now I only get to party/club when I’m on trips with friends.
I even moved in with my mom at the right time of adulthood too, so I wouldn’t again find my own party friends. I’m like forced to have a very calm lifestyle. No drinking, beaches, walks, gym, etc.
Literally everything in my life is so divinely orchestrated that it’s crazy. The people, the things I do. Everything.
The universe really is planning, protecting and helping me.
But at the same time I do have wants. Like I want to go to festivals but none of my friends are the festival type and the ones that are are in SF. Feel like I’ll get to experience it in the future because there’s a curiosity for it.
And I feel like I’ll get that when I step into fame, wealth, and visibility. I’ll get all the stuff I want right now for free. Like almost an overload.
And the universe is having me experience peace and joy in routine and nature and family to help me anchor.
That even when I have an abundance of everything, I’ll know what the true forms of happiness are and have the ability to say no to chaos.
I party when I’m on vacation but by day 2 I want my routine again because I’ve experienced joy in routine and being at home.
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Anyways, for the most part today was super slow. I cleaned my room and the house cause we thought my mom’s friend was coming over. Ordered some clothes for my friend’s wedding. Still need to order the reception outfit, but I think I’m going to wait on it to see how these that are ordered from Indya look. In case I hate them.
At like 6pm, mom and I got taco bell and went to the beach to each it. We only stayed for a bit cause it was super windy and the sun was going away. And then we went to TEDs to get some groceries.
I need to record my vlog from yday but I feel imposter syndrome and a bit of resistance. Like idk if I should just yolo it or write a script, so the story doesn’t just feel like a long yap. I also want to have the right energy for it, but I fee like there’s a bit of resistance.
If I found my journals easy, those would have blown up, and then my social identity would be tied to all my trauma and vulnerability, which now in hindsight I’m happy those didn’t blow up. Maybe there’s a reason why the universe doesn’t want me to find it easy talking about my solo dates.
Or maybe it does? IDK.
I wonder if angel numbers are just a reflection of my own frequency instead of signs.
9/10 - Overall chill day but I’m so mad at myself for dragging on this vlog. Idk why I feel so much resistance creating it. Like I just want it to flow and be easy.
Intuition - I think I’m not in full alignment yet, so the universe doesn’t want me to find it easy and start blowing up.
Energy:
50% - chilling
50% - procrastinating to do my voiceovers
