3/19/26 - Feeling my heart coming back online

Took my melatonin gummies and put magnesium on my feet and knocked out last night. I literally slept for 10 hours and woke up pretty energized.

Did some light pelvic exercises, and then went to the living room to go chill with my mom. I saw her softness almost in a different light today. Something I wanted to protect, something that was so cute. Gave her some new earrings and then went to go shower before my yoga class.

I followed a strict diet today based on whatever claude told me, and basically eliminated all sugar. Had chia seed pudding with just cinnamon and 2 eggs.

Didn’t feel a crash or bloated as yesterday. Drove to my yoga class and I was so chill. Out of nowhere I felt love oozing out of me again. Before leaving, I also texted my best friend about how maybe I’ve just been projecting my own dreams on to her. I feel like I’ve just been protecting my heart way too much.

Yoga felt very good and peaceful. Then went to this old market coffee shop that I used to go to, but didn’t get coffee. I just took my meeting with my boss.

Got some microgreens from the market, and then drove back home. It literally took an hour. Something I’m not really used to. I’m used to it only being a 30-minute ride.

Ate some lunch, again low on carbs, and super healthy, and then walked a bit around the block. It was super cold, but mom and I were going to run some errands. She went to patel’s and I went to target. Then I needed to go get medicine, so I took her to target and there was this cute guy there.

I wasn’t scared to talk to him, and he talked to me back, but then I instantly felt myself get nervous and block his energy. I need to stop doing that, and let it just land.

Anyways, the first walgreens didn’t have my perscription, so had to go to another walgreeens and I was just smiling the whole time.

I really do feel my heart coming back online.

Came home, ate dinner, just some boiled eggs, and avacado. Got another 30 minutes of steps in, and then talked to my dad.

Talking to my dad every day is really healing for both of us. I could feel it. It’s making us both softer. We talk like besties.

I stand in this. If he was here, my life would have been so different and safe. I would have never learned everything I needed to learn on my own with him here. And the universe is so funny that it didn’t allow him to reenter until I grew my own spine.

I’ve been nervous to book my plane tickets with everything going on, but I trust my internal compass. I trust I’ll be okay. More than the optics offline. Initially, I was going to wait till the day of, but I knew I needed to do this for myself, so I booked them.