3/17/26 - Expansion from rest not force, Receiving visibility, my mold to break

I haven’t journaled in detail for a while, but today I feel like I have a lot to say.

For the past couple of days, I’ve been super exhausted to do anything. Write. Get my steps in. Work. Just anything felt like I needed coffee to get through. My new house has very expansive energy, so mentally, all I wanted to do was push myself to work out, work more, etc. But my body just couldn’t.

Today, I woke up and told myself I was just going to spend it in solitude and rest. If I couldn’t do anything else today, that was okay. If I felt like watching movies all day today, that was also okay.

Instead of forcing myself to be super productive in my office, I decided I was going to work from bed, so did that. I made sure I was comfortable. Then ate, and took a long nap without any care or worries.

Woke up and still didn’t care about being productive. I just laid in bed until I absolutely couldn’t, and knew my body needed to move.

That’s when I naturally got up and walked for a hour. Without any force. Just from flow of what my body wanted to do.

While walking, I started thinking again. Earlier today, I told my boss about the Eid activation with the billboard that will cast DM pictures, and he was so impressed. My team was so impressed too, and it wasn’t even my idea. I got the visibility and recognition for it, when the idea was handed to me by the host. I just received it. But I don’t feel guilty. This is exactly what my frequency matches now. People giving me things with ease. Receiving and giving with ease.

I’m the one that’s managing the relationship with the host. I’m the one that ultimately said yes. I’m the one that brought myself to this room, in whatever way it was.

I spent years working so hard without an ounce of visibility. The canada billboard was my idea and I never got any credit for it. Because I wasn’t the face for it.

So this moment isn’t just someone giving me an idea. This moment belongs to all the years I spent working towards this exact moment of alignment.

More so, I literally hand other people things. Like the new girl on my influencer marketing team. She’s taking credit for scaling influencers. The system I handed to her. Again, never got any visibility for it.

But this is what it means to receive things freely without guilt. I shouldn’t feel even a ounce of guilt. Like this wasn’t my idea. That’s how it works in this frequency. You give and receive. A little part of me felt guilty that I didn’t “work” for the praise. But this is exactly what I needed to realize.

Anyways, after that, ate some sweet potatoes with my mom. Needed some energy.

Later, went back to my room and had the energy to romanticize my gua sha routine. Finally did it.

Then called my dad. Yesterday, I tried pushing my dad to start a business by motivating him and telling he could do it. I know he can. I literally see it in him.

But he’s playing it safe again. He’s doing what he already knows how to do. It’s not small but it’s not grand as what I was imagining.

He’s investing in some property.

I think deep down, I wanted him to break the mold and show me the wealth and abundance that can come from following your dreams.

So I wouldn’t have to and maybe he could be my example. But he’s playing it safe again.

Part of me was a bit disappointed because I see so much potential in him to be filty rich if he just unlearned his fear with money. Also because yet again, I don’t have anyone to break the mold for me.

But maybe that’s not his destiny. Maybe it really is my destiny. I was almost born with financial responsibility. It was never something I had to learn.

But he did. That’s the mold he broke. And that’s why it was inherited to me. I was always money savey. Meanwhile, he came from an upbringing where no one was money savey. His parents and siblings were all in debt.

I got that handed to me. Maybe I really am the one that’s going to break the mold for abundance by following my dreams and not just always playing it safe.

Maybe it was never his to break. Maybe it was mine, and I can’t be mad at him for something that’s not a part of his destiny.

I’ve literally gone through additional years of training to not think from scarcity that he hasn’t.

Maybe I’m disappointed because I’m scared about my own purpose in the family. Maybe I know deep down that this is mine to do, and no matter how hard I try, no one else is going to do it. This is what I was made for. This is what I’ve been training for.

I can’t resent my dad for it. If I had never inherited financial responsibility from him, I wouldn’t even be at the stage of thinking of abundance. He did do his part already. I have to do mine now. No matter how scared I am.
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On the other note, I’m finally fully journaling again. For the past week, everything I’ve been pushing myself to do, i’m naturally doing just from resting and having the capacity to take more on.

I also booked yoga classes every day for the next couple of days.

Resting was always the answer.

Another reminder to myself is that I don’t need anything from anyone. I don’t need anyone’s approval, validation, etc. And this I’m working on to stop worry about being liked.

I kind of don’t feel like writing about my intuition, joy, curiosity, etc today, so I just won’t.