3/5/26 - Signed lease, last walk in the neighborhood

Woke up late today and saw the realtor sent the corrected leases. Something in the document said something about a foreclosure, so I was caught off guard about that a little, but I think it was a mistake. Overall, it was ready to sign, so I texted my landlord the official move out date and told her I wasn’t going pay for the 10 days because she owed me from the time of the flood.

She didn’t answer, so I started getting a bit anxious but told myself that by 3pm if she didn’t answer, I would send her a follow-up, and by 4pm if she didn’t answer, I would sign anyways.

I checked the lease and saw it technically ended on March 1st, so I wouldn’t be bound to a lease or anything. The worse that can happen is I would have to pay for the 10 days.

Tbh though I just wanted her to answer. I didn’t want the universe to make sure I was brave. I already know I’m sure about this place. That’s why I was like I KNOW nothing will go wrong. I have the capacity to hold something good for me.

Was starving but mom hadn’t made food yet. So decided to do my tax stuff instead. I called them but no one was picking up. Even though I mailed them and emailed them months ago, I still didn’t get an answer, so this time I made online portal accounts and submitted documents there. Felt like I needed to get this taken care of before I moved.

Ate, but couldn’t really digest my food. Also I’ve been gaining weight like crazy. Idk if it’s from the period medication or if I’ve been eating too much. But a little part of me is worried.

I went to target to get bins and also this stain remover spray. I’m trying to sell my couch but it’s not selling, so i thought if I cleaned it would be better. Also texted my current landlord since it was 3pm. Got an Ube coconut coffee. It was good but also I felt so nauseous like nothing was digesting.

Got to the car and saw my landlord replied and said march 10 works and I could use the credit for this month. Finally a deep breath. All I needed to do was sign now.

Got home, told mom, signed the lease. Mom called my aunt to tell her. My cousin asked for the address but I didn’t feel like telling him just yet. And then decided to go on my walk outside as a way to say goodbye to my neighborhood of 27 years. But tbh it didn’t really feel like a goodbye. I wasn’t that emotional. I did end up going the park too and reminded myself I could experience joy.

As soon as I got home, I saw they replaced someone in the admin someone worse, so my anxiety did come back again, and I felt a bit scared. But I also don’t want this fear energy going into the new house, so I need to work through it in the next few days.

Also had texted my best friend earlier and she replied. We’re such siblings. We fight and then talk to each other like nothing is every wrong after being passive for a bit.

My boss also texted me saying he wanted me to make a report on Q1 and just the way he was saying it was so bitchy. That I just gave him a thumbs up to. Like how hard is it to say please and thank you. I’m not saying please and thank you to him either. See how he likes it. His big dick energy is getting too much.

Ate dinner, and then started packing. Surprisingly, I cleared up my room really quickly. And now it’s empty.

Was exhausted by the time I was done but told my friend in SF that I was going to call her. Basically talked to her for an hour. She still wants to come for st.patricks day but my other two SF friends basically went MIA and it won’t be fun if she just comes. Plus, I don’t feel like being the only person responsible in entertaining her. I spam texted my other friends… idk if they’re mad at me or something, but it’s whatever. I texted them.. Kinda would be exciting if they do end up coming.

Overall, I’m exhausted now. A little scared, especially now that my childhood comfort community is gone too, but I know I’m ready for it. This is exactly what the past 2 years have prepared me for. To be able to hold new beginnings.

I also do want to try finishing all my incomplete journals tomorrow.

Curiosity - Packing

Joy - Getting the lease signed, my walk

8/10 - Lots to get done, but the lease is signed! I’m officially moving!

Intuition - I need to focus on my inner stability and ignore what’s happening in the world. Again, that’s what my whole training to this point was. It’s also okay for me to feel scared sometimes, i’m human. As long as I have stability.

Energy:
25% - waiting for an answer from my landlord
50% - packing, getting things from target
20% - taxes
5% - talking to my friend