11/13/25 - Sleep deprived, yoga + mediation, cutting access to people

I woke up insanely deep deprived cause I couldn’t sleep all last night, even took melatonin gummies but they barely worked. Had a meeting at 9am, but thank god is got canceled, so I went back to sleep. When I woke up from my second round of sleep, I again woke up with the energy of just wanting to cut out all the noise and almost just say no to everyone. Work, leisure, everything. Just basically wanted to cut off all communication with everyone. I was tired of unanswered messages, leaving people hanging, people bugging me, etc. If I had situationships, I’d probably go on a run to block them all, that’s how much I just wanted to cut everyone off. Last night, I even kindly rejected a bunch of people for work.

Anyways, took my marketing call where I shared my branding plans with everyone, and then went to go eat, chill with mom until I had a meeting with my boss. He was trying to be funny, but that just wasn’t working for me. I was honestly even more repulsed. I ended up ignoring him and then went on a whole run with presenting my marketing plan. Tbh I barely did any additional work to it, but I explained it with details very sharply.

He was impressed and just asked me to build on it which I obviously was. He said something that was like “we need to think collectively for all the consumers, not just thinks one person wants” and I was kind of reactive about. Like obviously I think of all the personas when I plan anything. Not just about what I want to do. I feel like my reaction was kind of similar to what I had with the parent company boss too. He said something and I was kind of reactive about it. Almost like if I didn’t say something they would misunderstand me or think I’m stupid.

Something is off about the reactions. I don’t like how it’s coming out as defensive. Should I just let them say their piece? Do they say it because they want to feel important? Although I do think there is some truth to it and they’re just misunderstanding me, which is why I find it important to clarify right away. Idk.

After the meeting, I tried piecing together an outfit for the dinner I was going to with my friends tomorrow. I didn’t have a skirt, so I just used a dress. I’m getting better at styling over just wearing, layering, and mix matching pieces. Also ordered these brown boots that I think would go well with the outfit.

Anyways, watched an episode of Gilmore girls and then decided to go to a yoga class after so long.

This time when I was driving, I felt completely like me. Like before where I felt free doing whatever I wanted to do. I wasn’t actively trying to fight my nervous system from fear, it was just embedded. Like my nervous system already felt free and I feel like all these years I took that for granted. Today is felt special knowing that it was something I actually overcame.

Anyways, at the yoga studio it was just me and this other girl, so we almost had a private session. I was hoping to cry, but I didn’t really feel any crying release. We did have a mediation session, where I almost fell asleep. Even after I was just sooo sleepy, so I went home, ate, watched an episode of gilmore girls and went straight to sleep.

I ended up waking up in the middle of night for 2 hours where I went over some thoughts, but then put some other guided mediation on and went back to sleep.

Intuition - I think I’m clearing out the noise and things that don’t serve me to make room for more things in my life or to practice abundance.

8/10 - I feel rested.

Energy:
25% - sleep deprived
25% - trying to explain my branding vision to people
25% - over people’s shit, cutting off people’s access to me
25% - calming down with yoga