11/11/25 - Anchored expression
Last night the burble sound came again from the sewer and I felt even less scared and more trusting. This time I didn’t go check multiple times or stay awake. It’s like exposure therapy at this point. I texted my owners wife again and told her that the owner can come after 10am. Originally put the alarm for 9am to get more sleep in but my SF best friend called, my mom started making noise, and I started getting text messages, so I ended up waking up a bit cranky.
Cleaned my room, made some coffee and got to work early today. I called my SF bf and she asked me what things I like, so she could make me clay charms. It was so cute. Really felt like getting things done, tried to ship out some merch but my rauken code wasn’t working properly. Idk. Then had my marketing meeting when my owner came to take a look at the sewer.
My boss wants to see 2026 plan, so I told him I had the draft. I basically don’t want to do more work than I can handle. Also told the new girl that I hired my plans. She’s still learning how to think big and I had to explain to her the reason why I was saying no to other things.
Worked on my marketing plan a bit more, and showered, went to go eat. Came back and was working a bit more, then decided to watch Gilmore girls, got my steps in while watching only murders in the building, my SF best friend called again to show me the charms she made. It was so cute, worked some more and watched some more TV.
At midnight - ate some cake. It tasted even better now.
-
Today is 11/11 so wanted to really manifest and envision my life. I’m learning how to express with anchored energy too. Right now, I think it’s a bit too much. Somehow I’ve been expressing from repression, and that’s why it comes out like fire.
This is what I think is happening in my life. I’ve just reached anchored balance. Where I can hold being anchored for short periods of time. Right now my longest is 2 days.
I’m working on making it a lifestyle and learning how to work my anchored side with my feelings side, because the switch is fast. I could go from being anchored to passionate in 10 seconds. And I need to be grounded enough to know that the feelings side is also a part of me and it’s not that my grounded side is losing power.
Basically learning anchored feelings. I’m also learning that my feelings are what are my artwork.
So I’m learning how to translate that into art.
I’m also learning how to allow more people to feel me, and certain people to see me. Lolol it feels like Medusa, where if you see me without me wanting to see you, you turn into stone. My Jan 2026, I feel like I’ll have the exact rhythm and by Feb 2026, I’ll gain traction. My March 2026 I’ll have momentum to the level everyone will reach out to me. I’m also meeting my person in March 2026 because that’s when I’ll have enough momentum and I’ll never abandon myself and will be grounded enough to hold the love. Beyond March is learning how to juggle work, opportunities, family, and a relationship while staying grounded and creating consistent art.
I do think I’m going to move March 2026 too or even before to a townhouse with my mom. By August 2026, I see myself getting something I’ve wanted my whole life. By October 2026, I see myself traveling a lot.
I’m manifesting to keep myself going but I also don’t want to feel like I’m on a timeline and rush things. I’ve done that before. But I also like knowing good things are coming for me. That’s the thing that’s kept me sane during my survival period.
Also, tried writing down how my body would feel like while expressing and while resting and tbh it would be calm throughout both. Still trying to figure out how I would have fire though while staying calm.
8/10 - Felt like a productive fast day
Intuition - I still need to release energy. My body is begging for some yin yoga right now.
Energy:
50% - working
50% - walking netflix + walking
