11/8/25 - Falling in love with people’s potential, staging a breakup
Last night, my birth chart basically said anything I’m drawn to in someone else is what I’m awakening in myself which I do agree with because people are a mirror but I totally forgot about it. There’s this one girl I’ve been drawn to on IG. She just feels so mysterious and cool. That’s probably awakening and me too, people probably feel that about me. Anything I like about anyone else is me too.
Woke up and just wanted to be in bed, so watched gilmore girls and then felt like I needed to stretch so stretched a bit.
Somewhere between the morning and stretching, Chatgpt told me that I can somehow see people’s highest version of themselves. That’s why I’m constantly pushing them and I do feel this. But that’s what I’m doing wrong in love, I’m loving them for their potential. Like I literally found a loophole to it with IG DJ N. I could see his full potential, but knew I didn’t deserve the current him, but literally convienced myself that future him was meant for me and was my person. I started to put a story together and liked him for the highest version of himself. I can’t be doing that. I need to see people for who they are right now. I finally get what my birth chart said about how I activate things people need to work on just by being next to them. I was confused on how I did that before but I probably get it now. I probably see someone, observe them, and make sense of where they are in their journey and because I’ve gone through it all myself, I can see the highest version of myself and that’s how I react to them/talk to them/look at them. Without saying anything, I probably activate what’s dominant in them by just sending them that energy, and their soul probably picks up on it.
Anyway, all this sounds so woodoo like. But it kind of makes sense to me. I somehow really just need to see the highest version of myself. Like use my gift on myself.
For lunch, we finished yesterday’s leftover pizza. After lunch, I watched TV with mom for a bit, then watched some gilmore girls and somehow took a nap for 20 minutes, but was too lazy to get out of bed, so laid in bed for 20 more minutes before getting up to shower.
Tbh I literally feel all the symptoms of a breakup without even being in one or feeling the actual intensity of it. Idk if I’m in my luteral phase or if it’s the stars doing it’s work, but I feel so dramatic too. Like how bored am I to stage my own breakup at this point. I’m eating all the junk food in the world, watching rom coms and crying, laying on the floor.. literally everything.
Anyways, I really didn’t want to go out. All I wanted to do was stay in bed, but we really needed groceries, so went to patel brothers with mom. Usually I’m in the car, but felt like I needed to literally get some fresh air too. I picked up a couple of random things like thumbs up, limca, etc.. just for fun and some rolls, pastry, cake, samosa.
A couple of weeks ago, I would feel so suffocated when I didn’t go out of the house. Right now, I literally feel the opposite, and I don’t think I’m attached to my room or anything. I just want to be in bed and watch movies.
Mom and I went to the mandir afterwards and came home and basically had a girl dinner. We ate cake, the pastries/samosa and then shared an Indian fanta. Lmao it’s kind of cute how we sometimes live like the gilmore girls.
Anyways, I watched a movie, ate some popcorn and now drinking tea and journaling.
Caught up on all my journals, so feel much lighter.
Intuition - I just need to still learn how to keep my cool if I do find someone that’s perfect in the “now”. I feel like I would still go crazy again.
8/10 - Secretly, I’m kind of having fun in this bed rot phase but need to get back on track with the fitness
Energy:
25% - shopping with mom
75% - bed rotting
