11/1/25 - A test to see how I react to attention

I was way too tired to do anything last night, so I came back to the hotel and knocked out. Needed to wake up early though to wash my hair, shave, and pack. For packing, I still needed a bunch of things for my halloween outfit, so decided I was just going to do that after coming back from the clubs tonight and just shoved things in bags. Before checking out, I realized that I really succeeded in making the hotel room feel like home even though I didn’t like it at first. I’m getting really good at carrying the feeling of home with me again instead of it only being my room/house.

Got to my friends house and they were still getting ready. I gave them the candles and started straightening my hair. Last night, we decided we were going to go to this one breakfast place that I liked, so we drove there. It’s a cute place called cole valley. Feels very autumn like. I was obsessed with going to this place when I was dating N, and we finally made it there to plan things for my birthday. There were memories tied to the place. We used to go on our walks there every weekend too. As soon as we got there, somehow my SF best friend and I found out what N’s new girlfriend’s name was. And the other girl that came to our brunch was following her. As soon as I opened her IG, my heart kind of dropped. She was actually sooo gorgeous. Part of me thought even way more gorgeous than me. But she looked avoidant too. Like she was definitely put together but I have a feeling that she’s the one that’s going to break his heart and teach him a lesson. She doesn’t look like his end game. Nevertheless, it took me a second to gather myself because she was still really pretty, and part of me wanted him to be with someone that was a downgrade to me.

We went on a walk while waiting for a table. Also stumbled upon this 1920s ice cream place that N and I went to. We saw this one house that had a whole photo space set up, so we took a picture there. Also saw this hopscotch thing, so we were just having fun and doing hopscotch. Originally, I was going to take them to an arcade on the block, but our table was ready so we went back. Felt like I was re-writing my memories with Zazie and the cute ice cream dinner.

We got our food. I like always also got bread, jam, and butter. Literally, why is that my comfort breakfast. Anyways, we ate and decided to head out. My friend was out of gas so we went to a gas station, but the pumps weren’t working there, so we had to go to another gas station while she was on 3 miles of gas. I really thought we were just going to be abandoned but it worked out. Then we drove to get the bar crawl tickets but they were still closed, so we went back to her place and all took a nap while gilmore girls was playing on the TV. It was so cute she even brought the mattress out of her room to lay it out in front of the TV.

My friend was worried about going to my other friend’s pregame but I said it would be okay.

Got up, and we got ready. I took my edible while we were getting dressed and redid my makeup. The end results were that I somehow looked soo hot with the glasses. Like I was actually digging my look and was so impressed. We did some tiktoks, and then that’s when the edible really hit me, but I still wanted them to take pictures. Ngl I was sooo high when we were taking the pictures. I was kind of being super annoying and telling everyone that we needed to go, so me and my friends sister got into a little argument because she was getting annoyed about it but I just felt like things were taking forever. We left and got to the club. I was scared I was going to run into N and his new gf. At the club, I was super out of it but just moving to the music. My other friend also texted passively about how we didn’t come to the pregame. I just texted her saying we were at the club.

That’s when this guy that my friends knew came up to me, and was kind of obsessed with me. Like he kept saying, “let me get you a drink” to get me alone. I asked the girls and got them what they wanted. A tequila sunrise. While the guy and I were by the bar, his questions were so weird, like what do you do.. etc. I was super chill, so I straight up asked him why he was so nervous, and he said it was hard and that I looked so beautiful that he couldn’t think of what to say. He even asked me on a date but I said I was leaving in the morning. He literally was like I wanna take you the next time I come and told me I looked like someone. The convo was super awkward cause I couldn’t even think of what to say. He even made me bet on a baseball game by letting me pick who he should bet on.

At one point, this other guy was interested in me too and started talking to me too. That convo was going better and more natural but I wasn’t digging him. The first guy got jealous. My SF best friend was literally giving everyone death stares. She’s super protective over me and told me his ex’s name was the same as hers. A couple of minutes later, nervously, he told me his ex and my friend had the same name. I could tell he was insecure about it, but I didn’t care. I was more concerned if he was thinking about her while talking to me and that gave me the ick. He took me to the bar again, and this time I told him I don’t drink and told him the other drink was for the girls. He was super nice about it, and understanding. I liked that humble part. He got me mocktail. He asked me to ditch my friends to go on a date, and I said no because old me would have gone in the name of love, like I did in the past. So I was proud of myself. We both said we haven’t dated in a while, and then he said something about being spirtual which caught my attention but it got too loud and he said he would tell me about it later on our date (not that I said yes to it). Overall, I wasn’t into him but he wasn’t bad looking. I just knew that he was still insecure and was just not at my level. He still needs to work on himself in a good way. He also liked mandani. Overall, that part of night was surprising. I haven’t gotten this much attention at the club in a while, and I haven’t held anyone’s hand in a while too. I was scared I was going to kiss him just because I missed being kissed. I could tell he was genuine, though, just not my person.

We left cause we needed to go to another pregame for these music twins. I’ve met them before too cause their my ex bosses’ friends. We went and some other new girl came in the car to go to the pregame with us. She was pretty and unhinged. But when we got there it was just super loud and kind of boring. I didn’t feel like entertaining her even though I knew she was alone. My friend’s other friend’s boyfriend came and took her home cause she got super drunk.

We then went to the club. The ticketing lady didn’t tell us we had to show the resy invite, so she charged us $20/each when we could have gotten in for free. My other friends were super pissed. By this point my feet started to hurt, so I was just dancing. Still high. My friend’s sister was drolling over the DJ cause he was hot. Random girls also wanted to take pictures of us, which was cute. The first DJ came off stage and I found of he was from Chicago too. He asked for my IG, so I showed it to him and this guy literally follows himself from my phone. I danced for a bit and then left.

Got back to her place and packed and then went to sleep. The clock went back an hour because of daylight savings.

Intuition - It was a test to see how I react to attention, but also kind of happy I’m getting attention that means something is changing in my aura. I wonder if people can feel that I’m open to talking to them since I’ve actively been working on it.

10/10 - I had fun today!

Energy:
25% - hanging out with my friends
25% - reacting my ex’s new gf
25% - analyzing my interaction with the guy at the club
25% - having fun dancing