11/2/25 - Getting Closer to love, accepting luxury as the norm, resetting safety
Woke up at 4am to leave for my flight. As soon as I woke up, my SF bestie started puking, so was a bit worried about her but she was okay. They were so cute saying goodbye. Security was pretty quick, so it gave me 30 minutes to go to the Amex lounge and make it for boarding. I was kind of really excited going to the Amex lounge for the first time by myself. It feels like a luxury, and now I’m finally at that stage where all this is normal luxury for me. The first time I went with N, I was almost mind blown, and now I’m making it my own standard to life. Even when checking in, I just saw what the other person did and followed the steps to really feel like I fit in.
This lounge had very limited food, but the chia pudding was really good. Last time I ate was at brunch yday, so I was starving. Had some eggs and my classic bread, butter, and jam combo. I swear that would probably be my preferred last meal. Before I left, I accidentally pulled to hard on the charger, and drop my chia seed pudding cup, so there was glass everywhere by my seat. Told the workers there and left. By the time I was done and went to my gate, I was literally part of final boarding. Lmao practically group 7.
Got in and immediately got in my seat. At first it felt a bit weird. I think I’m still getting adjusted to the fact this is my new normal. Child me would be bewildered at the fact I spent $200 on upgrading to first class just because I wanted to. It was so cold that I immediately fell asleep. I’m such an ugly plane sleeper. Like lol idc I will put my feet up and curl or sleep on the window just to be comfortable. I can not sleep straight in my chair. Also had that one song on repeat from Cook. I thought a bit more about the guy from yday. I’m definitely intrigued but I know he’s a charity case. But at the same time, I’m so proud of myself. The fact that guys are officially coming to me, and I’m standing on my ground is so impressive for myself.
It also means I’m closer now because god is literally giving me click baits to see what I do, and I am passing with flying colors. This guy literally was so genuine, he was just nervous, and he said something about spirituality. Was giving and not judgemental about me not drinking too. He was definitely a solid contender but I knew in my heart he wasn’t my person. There was no spark, and it didn’t feel like I knew him for years. It didn’t feel like alignment, it didn’t feel expanding. Old me would have just been happy I got attention, and would have used him as a charity case knowing that I know he’s nervous and can calm him, and would have given him a chance. This me knows what I want, and he’s nice but he’s not my person and I don’t feel bad about it. That’s exactly how I know I’m getting even closer now to my person. Because god is again seeing if I settle.
Anyways, I got off the plane and immediately realized my purse was missing, so I told the flight attendant guy. At first I was a bit worried, but then I remembered that I prayed and god has my back, so I calmed down. Had to wait for everyone to get off even though I was literally the first person to get off the plane to get my purse, but I got it. Thank god.
I strongly believe everything happens for a reason, so sometimes I wonder whats the reason for things like this. I don’t want to always assume it’s a form of protection because then I’m still on guard. My mom said to come a little later to pick her up, so I called my best friend in the uber to ask her to go on a walk.
This week is fall folliage in chicago. All the trees look so pretty and perfect. Even when I was on the plane, I was like oh f I’m back into the mess and could feel a bit of heaviness in the energy of the city, but happy I was able to just be so free in SF, so airy.
Unpacked everything, chilled, went to pick up friend and went to nespresso store to try out coffee too, then went to artizia to play dress up. We wanted to feel rich. I looooved everything I tried on, including this blue dress. Then we went to sephora cause she needed to return something but it was the sephora sale, so the place was packed. She wanted to go to homegoods after, so we went around looking at all the cute Christmas decorations. I told her we would go on a walk, so we went to gallery park. On the way there, the sunset was just soo pretty. It was super cold, so we quickly did a 30 minute speed walk and then left to go pick up my mom.
My mom was excited to see me and I could sense that her nervous system also looked like it had reset a bit. She looked like she felt safe. On the way home, I asked her how she was and she did say they made her cook a lot, which I don’t really like but I’m also just trying to ignore it and look at the bright side that she got her safety reset too the way I did.
I chilled with mom for a bit, prayed with her, ate chicken dinner, and watched TV with her. Also talked to my dad for a bit.
Intuition - Mom and I both needed this reset for our nervous system & treating luxury like my norm
8/10 - Felt like a long and busy day but I had fun being out
Energy:
25% - treating luxury like the norm
25% - feeling alive hanging out with my best friend
25% - staying calm in moments of panic
25% - not letting Chicago’s energy affect me
