9/19 - it’ll all work out

I find myself coming back to the same realizations again and again after straying away from them for a bit.

And now. I’m coming back to.. it’ll all work out. It’ll hard to believe it when times are tough but at the end it truly does work out.

A year ago, I was praying to just be at home with my mom and not being homeless. To just feel settled at a time where I didn’t know my next living situation, if I was going to come back to SF, my job, my relationship. Nothing.

And now, I’m in a house I love with my mom and have stability with my job.

I don’t have a relationship but I’m honestly happy. I’m excited to just be free and do what I want to do without worrying about the future or feeling like I can’t do what I want to do because it would throw off my timeline.

I was sooo obsessed with meeting it that I didn’t even let myself breathe and now when I have nothing I feel more free than ever.

Part of me was always worried about kids. But today I was like what if I freeze my eggs? I mean I have insurance right now. Why again even worry about a body clock.

Plus, with PCOS freezing my eggs now will always be better than later. So why not just do it?

And then on top of that, my itch to get a dog is even getting stronger.

So who knows, I might be ending the year freezing my eggs and getting a dog. Going full on mom mode.

This time, just not giving a shit and accepting that fact that it’ll all work out and happen when it needs to happen.

8/10