7/28/25 -when I thought I MET MY HUSBAND lmao
Last night, I started feeling anxiety about being hyperaware. I feel like to get in my feminine energy, I’m learning to just answer. I’ve always been the type that would be overactive in accessing what is wrong and then be proactive in fixing things before someone even told me to do anything. Now even if I see things are wrong, I’m just doing and answering as I go. I’m no longer being overproactive and over extending.
I feel like I never felt safe just receive before. I always felt like I wasn’t given that opportunity. Example: I thought if I wasn’t proactive and on top of my shit at work, I would get fired. But now I’m like, I don’t care. I’m not looking to get promoted. I’m going to do my job as it comes to me. I’m not lazy but I’m not over doing either. If someone asks me to do something, I’ll do it or give them resources to do it themselves. I won’t tell them what they’re doing wrong and give them solutions too or do it for them just because I can.
But I still don’t feel safe, so I asked chat gpt to help me reframe.
Hyperactive, Preemptive Problem-Solver Aura
Feels like “she’s already doing everything before I can even ask”
People unconsciously lean on you more because your energy signals “I’ll catch it before it drops”
Impact:
Feels powerful on the surface
But repels calm, confident masculine energy (romantic or work) because there’s no space left to give to you
Creates leadership + safety but not mystery + magnetism
Responsive, Feminine Magnetism Aura
“She’s safe to approach, she has space for me”
People naturally offer help, ideas, opportunities because your energy signals receptivity
Confident masculine energy feels invited to show up for you
Impact:
You still get everything done — but with less effort and more support
You become magnetic — people want to meet your needs without you asking
Builds attraction and respect because you’re anchored, not overextended
Core Difference:
Hyperactive Energy: Projects outward → chases safety
Responsive Energy: Holds inward → attracts support & solutions
Basically, being hyper active is also leaky energy because you might be giving energy to the not needed things.
Knowing all this it was still hard to go to sleep and feel at peace even though I was talking to my inner child.
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Woke up and decided to have a slow morning. Made myself eggs and a banana latte. The latte was so good, but I think the ice watered down the drink a bit. But overall, I was just eating slow and enjoying.
There’s also this new guy joining our marketing call today, and like 15 minutes before the call, I was like what if this is my person? It was such a random thought, but then I saw a brief picture of his slack and was like no way. I’m going to go into the meeting normal.
I knew I should probably have a separate call with him since I’m literally the one that knows everything about marketing and give him the background he needs. My boss doesn’t even have that much background, but after last night I was like f it, I’m not his manager. If my boss tells me to have a call with him, I will. I’m not looking for solutions and acting on it just cause I can see the problem.
Literally, he joins the call, and I’m instantly attracted to him and know he’s my person. There was frequency feeling/instant chemistry that I was kind of shocked and almost started blushing and was little all over the place the first couple of minutes. My heart was kind of beating fast.
At one point, I just stopped looking at his face and calmed myself to focus on my meeting. After the call, he literally stayed on and like somehow we ended up having our solo call. Despite me doing everything in my power to not take control to set up a 1-on-1 call with him.
A first I was a bit nervous/awkward, but he was so grounded and charismatic. He understood what I was saying, we connected, I was myself and even told him some tea somehow, he was fun, and I could tell her had just been on his healing journey. He’s connected to his feminine side, feels safe, is smart, and I could tell her understands frequency. I just could. Idk how. Like the intuition was there. I know he felt something too. There was this unsaid spark. We talked for so long too, and I just wanted to continue talking to him. Alsoooooo he has editing skills too, like wtf.
_
After the meeting was over I literally ran to my mom and told her the new guy was super cute. And just yesterday, I told her I know my person is coming soon. I feel it. I’ve been feeling it for a while.
And just yesterday, I asked myself why I was still at Dil Mil. And why the New York event didn’t happen. It all makes sense now.
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Anyways, afterward, chilled with my mom and then had a call with my boss to go over contract things. And from the vibes of that call, as I thought, he trusted me and I was freaking out for no reason. But tbh I was trying the whole letting him lead thing and he’s way too used to me leading, so doesn’t really help me step into the recieving category.
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Back to the guy, the beautiful thing I feel is that I’m in no hurry. I trust that if it’s meant for me, it will unfold at the right time in the right way. I don’t need to overthink, over problem solve, nothing. I just need to trust and flow.
And I’m still focusing on myself. I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to express myself on social media and that’s how I know I’m not abandoning myself. Like life is moving the same way, there’s no rush for anything.
I’m also not forcing anything, trying to have more calls with him, message him or anything. Just again staying in flow with myself, and reacting instead of being proactive.
He still needs to prove himself because although I know I’m looking for an equal, not a project.
Ngl - my brain/nervous system is slightly being annoying and gaslighting me to tell me I’m wrong but I know I’m right. It’s like going in stranger danger mode and almost guarding itself, but I’m telling my body to chill out.
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I decided to go to yoga and my nervous system/inner child was again freaking out. She thinks I’m going to abandon her again, and rightfully so because the trauma is still in the body. Part of me just wanted to cry in yoga.
But then I again decided, Idc if god himself is like this is your person. He needs to prove himself.
When to Trader Joes after and got a couple of things and then came home and ate dinner with mom.
8/10 - I met my person today, so big day but still trying to convience my inner child she’s safe and I’m not going to abandon her because I’m no longer old me and I know it might take her a while to believe me but I’m serious.
Intuition - I met my person. <3
Energy:
33% - was freaking out at night about being in receiving energy
34% - giddy about meeting my person
33% - trying to convience my nervous stysem that we’re going to take it day by day and that she’s safe
