7/14/25 - posting a risky tiktok

I ended up sleeping at like 1:30am and then left for the airport at 4:30am, so woke up super sleep deprived. The twins had just knocked out in the living room with the lights on, so I did have a chance to say bye to them before I left.

I only have a hour between getting to the airport and boarding, so was really hoping I made it on time. As soon as I got to the airport the security line was huge and that woke me up pretty quick because I kept wondering if I should go ask people to cut but decided that I’d do it if I hit the boarding started mark. Overall, security took 30 minutes, and I got done as soon as boarding was starting.

Literally rushed to the gate, and made it right before my group started. Today I had zero flight anxiety. Earlier, I was just worried about making my flight but I wasn’t tripping even in case I missed it because again god is with me and I know it. There was a good amount of storage space in the overhead compartments, so I put my backup up too and thankfully, I literally knocked out the whole flight.

It’s so funny to me how everyone else sleeps so elegantly in their chairs, meanwhile, I’m the only person that I know that literally knocks out on the table tray. Lmao I need someone to record me so I can make it into a tiktok. Ngl, coming up the content is never a problem. It’s always being timely about the editing, not getting overwelhmed, and feeling comfortable enough to record strangers. I feel like coming up the corporate world, the first thing that comes to my head is making them sign a waiver lmao.

Anyways, the uber took a while to come as soon as I landed. They kept canceling and my phone kept tweaking. The uber driver back was soo unsafe. Literally my driver was about to get in an accident like 3 times. But again I wasn’t stressing because I’m protected.

As soon as I got home I took a shower and unpacked instead of going to sleep like I usually do. My mom made fresh food too, so I ate lunch with her and we caught up on our shows.

Also tried making a brown sugar shaken espresso. It was pretty good and no anxiety afterwards. I wonder if my anxiety originally had came from the matcha instead.

Anyways, ended up taking a nap afterwards and woke up to go on my walk. After my walk, I went to my best friend’s house cause her grandma passed away and we talked for a bit.

Came home, needed to catch up on my journals, but posted 2 titkoks in the spur of the moment. Decided not to overthink too much and just post whatever was easy.

While I was posting, I was a bit confused on if I should show my serious side or ratchet side content too and I decided to just not say anything racist and I’ll be good. I really should just be myself. If I thought the watch party I went to had twerking, whatever, I’m gonna post it. I found it funny and that is me.

I’m also not rasist, so I shouldn’t be saying anything racist and that is still fully showing up as myself.

Anyways, also there is too much going on in the news, so I’m trying to unfollow all the news stuff.

Intuition - I’m actually mentally starting to believe I’m divinely protected too, and my nervous system is starting to get convinced too instead of being skeptical.

7/10 - A little all over the place and confused

Energy:
70% - trying to get back into my routine
30% - confused about what I should be posting