9/16/25 - Overflow energy, Receiving, energetic womb, power + softness
Went to bed last night thinking about why I hated my social media person and I came to the conclusion it’s because she lacked integrity and I hate shady people. I also kept thinking more about the girl that I randomly talked to, and I just couldn’t help think more about her. She felt like a breath of fresh air and our energies just matches.
But I was so confused. Because she kind of reflected old me and new me at the same time. I didn’t know if by hiring her, I was initating savior complex or inviting old frequencies back into my life.
It was just so confusing in the moment because up until now I believed everyone is an reflection of you, but at the same time this girl was interesting, she wanted to prove herself like old me.
Meanwhile, the other girl we were so close on hiring, I know she knows her worth and won’t even bend for a job. Like she doesn’t care about the job. She knows what she brings to the table and will bring it with a limit.
But I did some chat gpting and talked about the girl. Apart from all of this, I just know she made me happy. And chat gpt said she actually represents overflow and I thought more about it and maybe its right.
She feels like the type that when she gives something she gives from her heart, not with scarcity. Like she just has so much love to share and she knows she’s looking for something that fills her cup. Old me was just desperate to get a job and got lucky enough to trust my gut and work hard for it.
She was intentional, and yes she wanted to prove herself but it was from a place of integrity. She wasn’t begging. She literally said “you deserve to find someone that’s right for you too even if it’s not me.” and that stuck with me.
Idk what it is but this girl really touched my heart. And probably the first person in a while that I see that’s actually exhibiting overflow energy, so it’s new to me.
Until now, I thought the best it got was like the other girl. Where you know your worth but something felt off about it. It didn’t feel like a connect. It felt like what everyone says where you’re just protecting yourself. And she didn’t look like this job was an overflow for her.
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And then I woke up even more confused because how do I expect her to give more to me when I’m not even giving more to the job. Up until now, I believed in frequency reflections. I want her to overwork herself, so I can stay put without having to overwork myself. Like I don’t want to match her energy. I have boundaries with my job. Or do I? I’m still confused on the overflow aspect.
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In the morning, I started thinking about receiving. I’m supposed to learn how to recieve but like again how does this work with people being a reflection of you? Feel confused.
Overall though, I realized I don’t mind recieving from people that give with an overflow because they give from their heart without any strings or weight. That was never the issue. Up until now, people have just given me things from scarcity, so I always knew it came with weight. And that weight is what I feel heavy accepting. My intuition feels it immediately. So how do I accept things from people that are giving from scarcity? It is wrong? The thing is though if I’m really learning how to recieve. I have to be open to recieving from everyone. Not just people from overflow.
Like the girl that paid for my nails on my bday. I knew she only did it so I would do something nice for her. It came with strings.
If this girl is overflow - she will be giving from overflow because she wants to work hard and cares about the brand. And I already know me. If I see her working hard, I’ll match her energy. It’s almost like the inspiration I needed. But my overflow comes from my heart too. I won’t be working hard to prove anything to anyone, it’s because I’ll want to match her energy.
So yes, I can expect her to work hard and stay in my power of standards. That’s the beautiful thing about overflow it comes without strings attached. At the same time, I can still demand from life that my standards are people giving me things in abundance and meeting my standards.
This makes things a bit more clearer. Idk what it was but my heart and intuiton is saying that this job is girl #2s.
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Anyways, got ready and had a call with my boss to debrief me on if we were hiring girl number 1 (the standards girl) and he said she has clincals on monday, so maybe not. I told him I already had a plan B and he literally was like do whatever you want to do and gave me the green light. I also talk to him differently now. I feel like I’m not bitter with anyone anymore. Not my boss, the landlord or anyone. I’m still going to do what I need to do whether it’s quitting in the future or suing. But it’s with a clean heart. I just respect myself enough but it’s not personal. To some level, I feel like before I would take things personally because I gave from scarcity, so there were strings and expectations.
Now, my kindness is from overflow, so I don’t expect anything in return, so I don’t care about the outcome either.
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Anyways, I sent her an email and then ate, told my mom how literally I feel like this job was crazy alignment for her and this is exactly why I believe in divine timing. She emailed me earlier in september but I didn’t answer because I don’t answer cold emails. And then she emailed me again and for some magical reason, I decided to have the call with her. And now is the time where I’m like I’m letting go of my social media person no matter what and I’ll just hire an assistant. Like I’m not even asking this girl to do anything. I haven’t even seen her resume. I just know. And literally this wouldn’t have worked even 2 weeks ago because up until 2 weeks ago, I wasn’t in overflow so I cared about boundaries and people applying for the role. And literally just had the call with her yday and already offered her a job today. Like insane, even if I’m technically the one that is giving her the abudance. Also my boss is having a kid so he doesn’t even care what I do, so she’s literally bypassing everything all because I liked her energy.
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Drove to my doctor’s. It was the same hospital I was in for my mom last year, so full circle moment and again rewriting. I literally waited for him for like 40 minutes and he was old and white, but I liked him. He was unfiltered. Also got my blood drawn.
After the doctor’s I had plans to have a bit of picnic time again and had brought my creative writing journal and picnic blanket but just started feeling SOOOO drained and desperately wanted to go home.
Came home, drank a smoothie and immediately knocked out. I just couldn’t put a finger onto why I was soooo drained. The same feeling I felt when I left dance practice last week. I was just soooo drained and desperate to go home. But that I thought was because of the people. Literally this time NOTHING happened. I wasn’t even talking to anyone about anything draining, so why.
Chat gpt said because it was still a low frequency place and I still absorbed it. Now I’m like uhm, I can’t just stay at home. Whats up with me just aborsbing energy everywhere I go. On the bright side, so it wasn’t the “friends” that were the problem. It was just the energy in the room during dance practice, which makes me feel less on guard of the actual people or villainize them.
Woke up and did a sage cleanse, and then watched this cute rom com on netflix, while drinking some coffee. I immediately started feeling better after the cleanse, so I gpted why and it’s because it removes other people’s weight. I loved the movie and then watched some TV with mom.
While watching TV with mom, I was wondering why I’m able to reset in my home and room after feeling drained. Like I don’t feel the outside drained in my home. How can I treat it as a safe space while still staying detached to external things?
And chatgpt said it’s cause I have made my room my energetic womb, it carries the most amount of my energy. I made it special. It’s not the room itself. It’s me in a place that has the most me. That’s why I feel like it makes me feel safe because it has my vibration in every corner.
This might be the answer to how I can stay not drained outside. I need to carry the energy of my energetic womb outside too. Like I gave my room and house power with my energy, I can give it to my hotel room or anything else too. Since I’m the source. Need to try this out during Thursday’s dance practice.
After coming back to my room, I couldn’t help but think about the girl and then me. Like the girl was special. She was a breath of fresh air. And I couldn’t help but think how people see me. And I think they see me as someone soft but powerful. Where I’ll make an important business decision and say “omg, that’s so cute” in the same sentence.
Really seeing the girl made me honestly see myself in a different light. I really saw the power of someone that is in overflow and is magnetic. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that up until now, which is crazy.
But also makes me super excited because that’s how people see me too now. That’s how the world gets to see me, and I feel like I just fell in love with me today.
Intuition - I need to learn how to receive even from people who give from scarcity by separating the weight from their energy. And after today, really need to stop absorbing everyone’s energy.
7/10 - Today was draining again but on the bright side, even if something makes me extremely drained. I know how to bounce back in less than 6 hours now. Before it was like a two-day thing. Now, we’re moving closer to same-day recovery. And I have soooo many reflections today.
Energy:
25% - thinking about the new random girl
5% - shocked about alignment
25% - drained
25% - thinking, analyzing
20% - recharging
