9/9/25 - Mediating, expanding my dreams, creating a baseline of high frequency
Last night, I tried going to sleep without my phone, so put it away at 10:45pm and put the white noise on. But couldn’t sleep, so at 11:30pm I got back on my phone and put my phone away at 1pm.
Tried mentally telling my brain it was time to shut down and eventually fell asleep. Chat gpt told me it might be a good idea to actually do activations with my brain and body and tell it certain things. Like time to wake up, time to activate, time to shut down.
Woke up, touched the sun, came back in my room got on my phone but this time to search ways on how to mediate.
Found two videos, so did 2 exercises and 1. basically removing the feeling from my body and giving it a different movement. Imagined the anxiety I was feeling in my heart and removed it to match “flowing” instead of “swirling” in panic. As movement is good. And then watched another video on EFT tapping so did that. EFT is one of those things where I know I should do it, but don’t do it. But today it really helped.
So I genuinely need to add it into my practice. I set some intentions for the day to act like I’m making content for my business, but that didn’t happen tbh.
Called the IRS to deal with my IRS situation, and they were about to eliminate some of my penalties when the person said that my case is actually on hold and they’re reviewing it, so putting it in the air that hopefully it’s all resolved in my favor.
Also renewed my car insurance.
I did a lot of anti-bloating stuff yesterday because I’ve been feeling like shit, and my weight finally came back down to 121, so I'm happy about that.
Ate, and then got chatting with mom. It randomly just hit me that my family dreams were limited. Until now, I thought I could only have my mom at my wedding or for the rest of my life. But the past two days, I’ve been revisiting the idea of my dad actually re-entering in my life for good. So then it just hit me that the limitation of him not being at my wedding was a limitation set from my current situation. The rich, abundant, future me is like duh he’s going to be at your wedding. That’s the baseline of not living a life based on my karmic training. So now I’m manifesting him being at my wedding, and just the thought of it of like holy shit, idk why I never thought this was a possibility until now excites me.
The possibility of my family no longer being separated. Something that felt so impossible suddenly feels like the norm.
Woke up, went on my walk, and on my walk, I started crying just thinking about my mom and dad, and my person being there at my wedding. Something that’s so basic for other people, felt like an impossible dream for me until today. I visualized it and actually felt it, and literally just started sobbing while walking.
Came home and went to trader joes to get some of the fall items. I also wanted more steps. Got some butters to try with new lattes and got apple cider donuts, was craving one/two and going to take the rest for the girls tomorrow for dance practice.
I love how I’m actually reuniting with my true nature of spreading love but this time from a place of overflow. Until now, everyone thinks that if they set boundaries they have to be cruel and cold. That’s what my best friend thinks. But that’s all temporary until you learn self-love, after that you do return to giving but from an overflow not at the expense of yourself.
On my way back home, it also just hit me that the girls that complained about wanting to be white when they were younger and now they’re reconnecting with their culture. I actually feel like it was a blessing in disguise cause they were trying to match their frequency to people you weren’t in survival mode. I’m doing it now, where I’ve learned about my culture and now I’m trying to match white people but with discernment to intregrate the two.
They started off strong with directly going to the highest frequency, so the rest was just training for abudance, not they’re trying to figure out their unique power.
Until now, I thought it was european supremency, but I think it’s just matching yourself to whoever is privileged. I’m sure if I was surrounded by people like vidya from tiktok, I would try to match my frequency to her instead.
And tbh I wanna make a tiktok taking about this cause I think it’s such a hot take.
Put the stuff away and randomly there were a bunch of ants again by the living room window. Mom thinks it’s good luck. I’m just happy they’re not in my room.
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Today, I feel like I have completed my survival karma to step into being. Where the basline of life is my survival basic needs being met, and I can worry about expansion.
I say being instead of direct expansion because I’m still trying to figure out how to feel safe from overflow without associating it with trauma, so taking it step by step and just being in a state of just being and regulating.
I’m kind of now just stepping into the being of how I want my kids to be born. With privilege.
I also just saw a Dil Mil tiktok video of someone getting proposed at canon beach. Literally the universe is showing me signs and teasing me at the same time.
Intuition - I can’t believe my dreams are getting bigger too.
9/10 - Trusting that my dad is going to be at my wedding too, feels like something I didn’t think I could get. But knew I needed. And literally just visualizing the moment and feeling like it could actually happen just felt so special and real. Also was huge 9/9/9 portal so this coming to me today was important.
Energy:
25% - mediating/regulating
25% - tapping into future me, removing limitations on my dreams
25% - walking/taking care of my body
25% - thinking
