9/2/25 - Forgiving my dad fully, dad’s uncle & aunt

My dad’s uncle and aunt came from India today, and I was responsible for going to get them. Apparently the military were coming today, so I was a bit scared because what the. I also have never met these people so being stuck with them for a hour picking them up from steamwood also felt miserable.

Got ready and went to go pick them up and somehow when I started talking to them, it wasn’t awkward at all. The conversation just flowed. They definitely loved me from the car ride alone. It didn’t feel like I was meeting them for the first time. I don’t really talk to adults like that so this was kind of unusual for me, but they felt nice.

Took them to the mandir for the ganpati pooja and thats when mom came. We did the aarti, and then we took them home.

While eating lunch, I felt like this was the first time I was actually able to learn about my grandparents from a neutral stance. I kept asking how my grandma was? My grandpa? My aunt? My uncle? My family history… everything. My mom never really new them or lived with them. Plus my grandma hated my mom. My dad never really talked about them too, there was always a filter.

Idk how to explain it but feeling like I could finally learn about my family felt so interesting. They lived in India with my dad’s family. I asked them if they went through any trauma? If they lived in fear? If they struggled?

I was literally asking it all. And I was fully being myself.

While we were talking, we started talking about my dad, I told everyone that I wasn’t sad about what had happened. I knew there was a reason. And that’s the moment I realized I had fully forgiven him from my heart. I was defending him as a plan of something larger than him. I also was telling them about healing stuff, and they were impressed at how much I knew about life and how connected I was to my culture. It wasn’t performative at all.

On the other hand, my mom was still taking jabs, and trying to “win points”. We went to the hare krishna mandir, and then we dropped them off.

We also ended up going to my mom’s other cousin’s house too. On the way back, I told my mom that if my dad was taking jabs at her, I was no longer going to say anything because she was doing the same. And she got way she gave. But my mom has this way of thinking she’s innocent until I have to give her the reality check of what she said. At first she gets defensive but then she thinks about it.

We came home, and then I had to work.
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I wondered why my mom still needed validation. I know her and my dad are going to be proud that people say they’re impressed by me, but my parents still need validation. My mom still does, like she needs everyone to know she did a good job raising me, and wants them to report to my dad. She needs my dad’s validation. I wonder if I need the validation? I don’t think I do? Because if I didn’t like them, I wouldn’t talk to them like that. But I genuinely did like them.

9/10 - They felt like my grandparents.. lmaooo despite being my parents age. We also talked about stocks.

Intuition - I forgave my dad and honestly that means a lot to me. Because it took a long time to come to this point. 15 years to be exact.

Energy:
20% - getting to know new people
20% - getting to know my ancestors
20% - sharing healing
20% - realizing I’ve forgave my dad
20% - driving