8/31/25 - Demanding my self worth to the universe
I didn’t wake up super bloated today, but I did wake up feeling uncomfortable. Idk what’s going on with my body at the moment, but I think it’s the lingering effect of eating the Whole Foods cookies. Idk if I’m like getting inflamed from the ingredients.
But going back to yesterday, I feel like things are a bit clearer.
I’ve been getting whatever I ALLOW the universe to do to me.
- Before my healing, I genuinely thought bad things could happen just because and not everyone gets everything. So bad things would happen without any immediate reason.
- Then, I thought bad things could happen to protect me. Like my flight could get changed or my mom could get sick.
- After I told the universe that not everything has to be to protect me. I internally accepted that I would allow the universe to allow bad things to happen to me for lessons to be taught or better things to come out of it. That’s why when the flood happened, it’s something I accepted, allowed from the universe. Bad things in the name of lessons.
All this is because I subconsiously told the universe it was okay. When the flood happened, I was like no way this is happening to punish me. God doesn’t do that to me anymore. But god can make this happen to teach me something or for something good to come out of it. That was my standard.
But then I realized while I was praying yesterday that no. That’s not the frequency for abundance. As long as I “allow” the universe for bad things to happen to me for whatever reason, I will never be in the frequency of abundance because I’ll always have fear in me.
And for the past couple of days, I’ve been learning to stand up for my self-worth against authority/people to an unbelievable level. Well, the true test of self-worth is literally telling the universe I won’t accept anything less than good things happening to me. That’s my standard for my life. Only good things can happen to me. It’s like a demand. Anything apart from this, is a betrayal with the universe because this is the only frequency I am accepting.
Abundance.
And suddenly, I just don’t have the tolerance to accept people in my life that don’t match my frequency. Like I haven’t answered the new girl either because she drained me and I know in no universe will she match my frequency. My self-worth for my energy is way greater and I don’t feel bad about ghosting her.
It feels a bit of entitlement but I’m internally so rooted in it. Almost like when you decide you’re going to find a man that matches your standards, and you refuse to accept anything less so the universe had to match it. There is no pain/pleasure. It’s only someone that makes you the happiest.
That’s how I feel about life right now. Where I’m not accepting anything less. That’s my self-worth. And I feel like I can finally say this because I’m not scared of being alone. Like even with the new girl, idc if she’s not my friend. I know eventually someone that matches my frequency will come in. But as long as I accept her, I’ll always be matched to her level.
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Anyways, woke up and wanted to get coffee from Del Sur. Ngl part of hopes to see my soulmate preview guy again but everytime I go it’s always closed. I feel like I’m blocked from going there too.
So ended up going to trader joes and just got a coffee from there. Also got flowers. Then went to Walmart to get a couple of things and put the order in for my best friend’s bday cake. I still want to make the pipe wire flowers, so got some stuff from walmart but also am going to order the rest.
We have people coming over today. Ate lunch with mom, watched TV, and then went into my room to chill. Started a movie, but felt like my body needed movement, so went on a walk and watched a movie.
Mom was cleaning. I came back and went to aldi, finished my movie, went to go shower and then went to the mandir.
My mom was pissed I didn’t take her to the other mandir today but tbh I’m having boundaries with her too. I feel like normally I get guilt trip with mandirs and feel like I’m going to get punished if I say no, but I literally don’t have the energy sometimes and it’s okay.
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Anyways, they came super late. Like at 10pm but they loved my house. I could tell my cousin was getting a little jealous because they kept telling him to ask me to help him decorate.
I really liked his cousins. They were younger but they had personality to them and weren’t scared to be themselves. They were unfiltered. And one thing about me is I loveee unfiltered people. Always gives me space to be unfiltered too.
Also, earlier today I was editing this sari tiktok of me and at first I hated it and didn’t feel pretty but it’s growing on me.
Intuition - My tolerance for anything less than abudance is so low but I think I’m on the right track.
8/10 - Today felt a bit scattered but I did the best I could do and stayed chill with boundaries.
Energy:
25% - trying to find peace and stability, shopping
25% - establishing my self-worth with the universe
25% - waiting for people to come over
25% - establishing boundaries with mom
