9/14 - Feeling peace in the unknown

I woke up with a really bad dream today. It was J confessing to him realizing that he liked S all along. It almost felt like the whole puzzle made sense, his actions, him projecting his insecurity of me being friends with P. Everything and I woke up with a pit in my stomach, almost as if the confession was actually real and I just went through the breakup all over again. It hurt. And I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling, so I finally blocked him again.

I don’t care about creating a limiting belief. I know he’s not my person. I deserve way better than him and I would be mad at myself for the rest of my life if I ever settled with him. And after that dream I literally felt so much rage and hate. Like how dare someone do that to me. But it made me stronger. It made me cut the soft spot.

God can never punish me for cutting off someone that straight up continuously disrespected me.

On the other note, my mom got to come home today and I just felt thankful to even hear her snore in the other room. I’m thankful that we’re back home and just present.

I also do feel closer to god than ever and KNOW he’s on my side and watching over me.

9/10 (the dream really did shake me a bit but thankful my mom is home more than anything)