9/4 - The fear of dating

I think I’m actually starting to develop a fear of dating now. I’ve reached a point where I no longer care about any of my exes and still need to cleanse their energy in my life but also just thinking of ever getting back into dating just seems too much. I feel more tired and scared than excited.

I used to think dating was fun. The energy of talking to someone. The giddy feeling.. But after deciding that no one can fulfill all my emotions but myself, I’ve associated feeling too giddy as negative. That means I’m focusing on the relationship too much, getting too caught up in the fantasy and just getting too attached overall. And so now, I just think of dating as the exhausting act of being able to walk away when a guy starts acting up. And just not being patient.

I’ve also started to hear more and more stories of how guys love bombing and then becoming avoidant is soo common.

What if I’m detached for a long time, get engaged, and then get attached for a brief moment. Will the guy pull back and lose feelings for me? This time will it break my engagement?

Thinking of all this is just stressful but then I remind myself I’m in my healing period and I don’t have to deal with any of this yet. I can’t plan for negative outcomes. I just have to take it day by day.

However, overall, it all just feels scary hence why I think I’m actually developing a fear of dating.

On the other note, I have realized I am becoming more and more protective of my energy, which i’m loving.

So let’s give today a 9/10.