8/28 - Time to practice what I’m preaching

Last night, I ended up writing a blog article on “Why Setting Timelines in Relationships is a Recipe for Disaster” and honestly, it was very hard to write because that meant I officially needed to let go of my timelines. Letting go of a timeline for something is honestly equal to a breakup if not harder because there’s grief that comes from it. It almost leaves you in shambles because out of nowhere you’re lost and even more in the unknown of what’s going to happen in your life.

Until now, my solution was to be delusional that somehow I was still going to get engaged in December. Like a couple of entries ago, I thought N was going to finally realize he couldn’t live without me and in these four months that’s how my life would make my manifestation come true.

But after writing yesterday’s article, it only reiterated that even if I was staying in a relationship with someone to meet my timelines, I was still attached to my exes. I still had hope that N and J will transform and come back to me, which is not realistic. And even if they do come back, that means there’s a chance that I can overlook their mistakes and put them back on a pedestal or mistake it for the universe’s sign just because it’s meeting my timelines.

There’s no way J can transform in 3 months, and even if he does that won’t last long-term. And the truth is that N did hurt me too. So honestly, I don’t want any of them back.

So there is no reason for me to cling to hope of them changing and coming back just because I’m attached to my timeline. That won’t solve anything, it’ll still have me operating from an anxious energy.

The right way to go about my love life would be to let go of my timeline completely by detaching. Finally accepting that no one is going to come back and I’m not getting engaged in December 2024. It’s just not my time.

And rightfully so, because my gut is telling me to just focus on myself for the rest of the year and with this, maybe I was supposed to get engaged to myself. Constantly having a reminder to pick myself.

I needed to fully let go into the universe and just believe things will workout for me when it’s my time. Until then, I need to take things day by day, not put anyone on a pedestal and again not have any timeline. I just need to go with the flow but also make sure my person is still in the same life phase as me.

And honestly accepting all of this hurt a bit. But it was needed.