4/25 - Luxury even in

Last night, after feeling like a volcano about to erupt, I decided it was time to launch. And that I would figure out the missing pieces. Used my birth chart and apparently Sunday, April 27 is the day everything shift. That’s my launch day.

At first, I was freaking out about if I had all the episodes ready to go and if I would be able to keep up.. and then while listening to the Hanuman Chalisa it just hit me to post my “crash out” clip and start strong with the vulnerability. Because I clearly look homeless and am saying things like I want to be a model. But then something I’ve learned is that every time I’m scared of something, that’s the judgement I need to address and talk about. That’s my content for my writing. And that’s what free’s me.. because if I’m scared to post a video of me looking so bad saying I want to be model, and write in the caption that this is literally me pulling the bandiad on being vulnerable. That’s it. That’s how I release the fear of posting things online. By literally writing about them.

And then again asked when I should start my series. On May 2, so I have exactly a week to get my content ready to go. Right now, I’ll really struggling with the fronts/branding. Funny how literally this is my whole job, and that’s what I’m struggling with. Literally I’m a Brand Marketing Director, and I’m struggling with my own brand. It really is that the thing you’re really good at is the thing you overthink the most because you think about it from all angles.

Anyways, woke up and went to a coffee shop to get some work done after dropping mom off. Wanting to film some content, so I did my hair and makeup in the car and then was by the beach, so filmed some content by the beach. I’m honestly started to get over people looking at me. It’s a little weird, but then I remind myself Idc and that they’ll think and look for one second and get over it.

So proceeded to Cupitol. Was procastinating for a bit, but I think I learned about font shadows. Made some slight progress. Left because I needed to take a meeting. Right as soon as I got in the car, it started pouring. Considering this a blessing from the universe. Luck.

Came home, and honestly I was a little nervous about the meeting, but then I channeled my boss bitch energy and was like they need money from me. I don’t need them. And got over. I feel like I ended up being the energy in the meeting. They were super laid back.. almost like LA vibes.

Took another meeting, and then went to go pick mom off. We ate, spent some time together. I had to call PeopleGas so did that.. trying to check out chores of my list. Even napped.

Lol something about me is that even when something is urgent, I will also make time to eat, sleep, and chill. Like I have a deadline and it’s not that I don’t care. I care. But I also think it’s important to feed my soul and not freak out. I believe in myself that I’ll always find efficiency in urgency.

While doing my 10k steps, I even started a whole new netflix series because that’s what my soul needs right now. Watching YOU.

… and just like that I wrote my journal in exactly 15 minutes. Because effiency when you lock in. When normally it takes me an hour because I procastinate.

On the other note, lolol my best friend texted me asking me if she can use my camera for her sister’s bridesmaid dinner. lolol the audcity, after she kicked me out of the bridesmaid and made such a big deal about the camera/picture. The asshole in me wants to be like no. But then there’s a part of me that’s like whatever it’s for my best friend. Figuring out the balance between being an asshole and just letting things go.

9/10 - Finding joy even in urgency by continuing to priortise me

Intuition - I’ll always find a way to get things done.

Energy:

30% - boss bitch energy

60% - relaxing/having fun

10% - working