4/23 - Understanding & pressing the gas

People won’t understand a message until they’re meant to understand it. Out of nowhere the messages I see in some reels/tiktoks, finally feel understood. I feel it. I can relate to it. I understand it.

Before it was just like listening to a message and moving on to the next. It wasn’t felt.

Everything on my feed is a sign now. I’m learning everything. I’m in the same boat as other people, and sometimes it can create a feeling of being overwhelmed because then I’m stuck wondering how am I different. There’s already so much noise and content, why me? why another one?

1. My alignment is different than other people’s.
2. My feed is saturated with the content because I’m attracting it with the algo and my frequency. Other people don’t see the same things I do.

3. If i’m feeling such a pull to create content, and I know what kind of content, it’s because I don’t see it. So there is a need.

4. Why me? Because my content is going to be the piece of content that pulls someone into that frequency. People like me. No one pulled me but myself. We need more pullers. There’s already people that are doers.

I am living the life of her. The life of her isn’t like filled with positivity. She will also crash out because the crashing out/doubting is actually the base of her content. So while trying to snap myself out of this gloomy feeling, I literally decided to have a whole talk with myself in front of the mirror and recorded it to remind myself.

But then I’m like, honestly, this is good content too. Even though I look homeless.

Got ready, did some work, ate with mom, took a nap (yes, sadly I’m back to taking naps), and then decided to make going on a walk a bit more fun. I feel like I’ve been forcing myself to get my steps in, so went to the beach with mom, and then went to trader joes. We got some tulips and honestly just spent family time together. On our beach walk, I was explaining to my mom how we have to show up as the person we want to be. Sometimes I feel like she’s the one that reads the books and prays, but I’m the one that understands teachings and then try to teach her. Idk if she understands, but idk why she’s not meant to understand to get my point from today.

I did eat a lot more today but all healthy food, and I don’t regret it. But also made getting my steps in a lot less painful too.

Since I’ve been feeling a little less fiery, I’ve also been chat gpting a lot more. Just to help me get excited.

On the other note, there’s two people on IG that I feel deeply connected to and I’m calling it. They’re going to be my content friends. Namanh Kapur and Anci Social.

Intuiton - I am going to be friends with. Lolol the fact that I see them as “coworkers” rather than influencers is already a shift in my perspective.

8/10 - Was really pulling myself today but i think it’s all a part of the process and again just cause I post my content, doesn’t mean I’m not going to feel like quitting. This is also part of being a content creator, the feeling like you want to quit, so just cause I feel this doesn’t mean I’m fully not aligned. If anything I’m aligned even through the doubt.

So I wouldn’t even say it was re-aligning. It was more like pressing the gas on a car that’s already moving and going in the right direction.

Energy:

60% - Manifesting, pressing the gas, putting myself in check

30% - Having fun with mom

10% - Eating