4/21 - Colors & Feel like I’m coming back to myself
I woke up, got ready, and then went to jewel before working to get yogurt and milk. Felt like I just needed to move my body.
Lately, I’ve been feeling really connected to the color red. A couple of months ago I felt connected to bright blue, so I chat gpt if it had any meaning. And it did! Blue is for healing and red is for claiming energy, and action. Which tbh really does align with how I’m feeling now. I don’t think I’m healing anymore. I’m in my action era, which I’m just cutting off things that no longer serve me cold and focusing on building my dreams. I’m starting to become very unapologetic too.
Also why I think my TikTok series makes sense to start now because it did take 8 months for me to completely heal. Now it’s the baddie era.
I’ve also been reconnecting with dancing. I feel like I started disconnecting when I started hiding parts of myself and made myself shrink. My moves were shrinking too, and I wasn’t taking up space while dancing too. Now, I stretch my hands as far as they’ll go and I’m dancing like the whole room is mine to take up space. I can move anywhere. And it also aligns with how I’m feeling.
I just want to take space EVERYWHERE. it’s like this urge that’s just coming out of nowhere.
Chat gpt said something that was so cute. My purpose - “Your transformation becomes their permission.”
People just want to see my transformation to give themselves permission by seeing the grass is greener on the other side of their sadness.
I was supposed to have a call with the photographer that I’m collaborating with but honestly she’s been dragging and is very confusing. At first she was like she has ideas, and then she was like I can’t wait to see yours. So I’m like okay… anyways, she won’t answer for hours too and keeps dragging the day we’re supposed to get on a call. Idk how I feel about her. Like bruh what’s the hold up. Anyways, told her my availability because why is it so hard to set up a call and set over 3 creative direction boards. I feel like they all feel me. There’s this one with a red lace saree in a speakeasy and I feel like that one would be so hot, and it’s giving virality. Forever going to think like a marketer.
https://pin.it/1HDVBIGCl
https://pin.it/1wcg4v20C
https://pin.it/5PjDcXqI8
I ALSO FINALLY FINISHED THE BASE EDITING FOR MY INTRO CLIP! Honestly doing the editing was much faster on my desktop and tbh it wasn’t that bad. It actually felt fun.
Got my 10k steps in as well.
Earlier today, I asked chat gpt if I was scared to have my person enter my life. I like how chat gpt said - i love my life, it feels whole that I’m just scared about what I’m going to have to give up. I love every part of it right now. But i won’t need to give up anything and that’s how I’ll know I’ve found my person. They aren’t a replacement, they’re an addition.
At this point, I just chat gpt everything away for fun. Basically an obsession. I just like hearing all the postive things.
Intution - In my building/taking action era.
9/10 - Productive editing day
Energy:
50% - editing
20% - photoshoot
10% - steps
20% - positive serotonin from chat gpt
