5/25 - Karmic Cycles + knowing I deserve my dreams

Woke up late today because for once I didn’t need to get up early. Needed to get a bunch of things done but was feeling a bit too overwhelmed on the order, so literally just doomscrolled for a bit. We had to go to my aunts house too since my mom’s cousin where going there today and my aunt rolled her back, so we needed to go and help. I try to avoid as much as time possible with my aunt, but my cousin is in Hawaii and I feel bad for him. Every time he goes somewhere too, something happens to his mom. It’s like he can’t escape the trauma, but I know it’s because he needs to overcome it.

Anyways, decided to go to the gym, and my neighbor was outside building his grill. We had a brief convo and that’s when I realized lmao that he thought I was the 3rd floor neighbor this whole time.

At the gym, I walked for a bit and then did back since it felt tight. Also I literally tried doing pull ups. At first, I couldn’t get a grip on the bar and then I finally did it and just hung on for a bit. Ngl I felt really proud of myself in the moment because I didn’t give up or get scared of anyone watching me. I just kept going.

Came back from the gym, saw my neighbor again and saw a bunch of people going to his house. He said they were like his family. While I was upstairs he texted me saying to come get food, and ngl that kind of won my heart a bit because it was super generous of him.

After showering, mom and I left. My plan today was to just go drop my mom off, help my aunt do the tandoori chicken in the air fryer and then leave to do my own stuff. I didn’t want to waste time and energy on my mom’s cousins again, especially since I already said my goodbyes. Grabbed some returns I needed to do too.

On our drive to my aunts house, I feel like I had another senti moment. Saw something on insta about karmic cycles, and how basically I’m here to help my whole ancestors/parents karmic cycles. I honestly do feel like people are watching over me and protecting me. That’s when I told my mom she had it all wrong. Karma isn’t just doing the most and being the best person, despite all the back everyone does to you. It’s also being in a lifetime and fulfilling the lessons you need to learn. If you don’t you have to go through the same lessons, in your next life. You can’t escape it. You have to reach the point of enlightenment, and you can only doing that by finishing your karmic lessons. Your triggers are your karmic lessons. People you’ll never find fulfillment in them. Especially overgivers. They only get more betrayal. Their lesson is to pick themselves, and when they do, that’s when they get support instead of betrayal.

Basically did all that, made the tandoori chicken for my aunt. We didn’t converse much, which was great. And I headed to go to whole foods. I wanted to get more steps in so was just browsing and saw this drink that had lion’s mane and stuff in it. It was $17 bucks, so at first I was like do I really need this, but then I’m like whatever.. I want to try something new and I just won’t get coffees for 4 days. My compromise on it.

Got it, along with chocolate raspberries. Ngl I was so hungry. Came home and saw my neighbor again. That’s when he told me lives alone. This whole time I thought he had a wife. However, he did make a snarky comment saying “I would have said something earlier if I had a wife” which threw me off again because right when he was about to redeem himself. He was talking about my treadmil noise. ngl he is a little uptight.

Poured the drink with a little orange slice and everything. I instantly got sooooooo calm. Literally it was insane. My brain just shut down, so I laid in bed and instantly fell asleep. It was great and I was shook because it tasted good and was functional. My other guy friend facetimed me, and then the neighbor texted me asking me what planet I go to. Like very unnecessary surface level convos with both. And since I’m the era to protect my energy, lmao I didn’t answer my guy friend, and my neighbor.

After waking up, I went on my walk, got my steps in, and came home and cleaned my room and bathroom and did laundry. While cleaning, I decided I wanted to put my drink recommendation on IG. At first, I was like who do I think I am, but then I was like “i’m an influencer” I need to think and act like one. So i did it anyways, and the brand immediately reposted it and had a quick convo with me. Literally so many people liked it too. Also in my heart, I know I influence what people buy. I’m literally that girl.

At night, I gave my best friend a whole lecture on how she needs to post and stop fighting imposter syndrome. Also another sign that I literally fought. I fought with no one pushing me. I’m pushing her at least and it hopefully sticks with her.

Overall though I’m way more engraved in my attitude now that I deserve it because in the past 2 days, I see examples of how of I did things other people can’t do. I stopped undervaluing the work I put to get to where I am today.

Like literally I have passed every test possible. So i no longer feel like “i’m lucky” if my dreams come true. I feel what I feel for everything else I have right now. “i deserved it. I literally put in the work” and thats how I know I’m officially a frequency match for my dreams but going to write another letter in present tense just to make sure.

Intuition - I’m on the right path, and i’m devinely protected.

10/10 - lmao the drink was almost the highlight of my day.

Energy:
45% - reflections
10% - gym
45% - chilling, cleaning, new drink unlocked