5/24 - Creating from alignment + Appreciating my progress + Friendships passing the test

Woke up early because I still needed to finalize what place me and my friend were going to get our nails done. Ngl I was feeling a bit annoyed, it felt like I was overgiving. Literally giving options, finding a salon, etc. Just felt like I was putting in a lot of effort. I’m still in the period with her where I’m taking it one hangout at a time to see how I feel about her.

I like her but she hasn’t made it into my heart yet. There’s still a slight bit of awkwardness.

I also needed to post my photoshoot pictures because I promised the photographer I would. At first, things just didn’t feel right. The song wasn’t working either, so I kept spamming my best friend but ended up picking a song two hours later.

I know it took long but it was worth it. Ate, and took a shower. While I was in the shower, I decided to change the caption to something that reflected how I felt about those pictures. Those pictures really did teach me how to love every angle. Originally, I had it as “soft girl era” but that’s far from the truth. I’m actually in my fire girl era. I’m choosing to create from alignment.

Anyways, drove to go get my nails done. I was 10 minutes late, and my friend was just waiting for me. She picked chrome, and I had never done chrome, so I decided to do that too.

My friend’s technician was so mean, so I sensed her getting a bit overstimulated. That kind of happens to her a lot, and I try to stay calm but somewhere, her energy feeds on me too. It’s very anxious.

Anyways, when we were done I saw she paid $150 and I was soo confused, but was ready to pay mine until she told me she paid for me. Literally I was so shook. Because I didn’t expect anything from her. Also my nails were supposed to be $40 but I got the design so it ended up being $70 with tip.

I could sense it was a little over what she wanted to pay but I was thankful. I think that’s what I’m trying to learn right now. Of course I accept abundance but I can also sense when someone does something for me from preparation or from going over. Like yes, she wanted to treat me but she expected $50. Not $75, so there was hesitation.

And honestly it meant a lot to me because she doesn’t get nails done cause she thinks they’re expensive. Not only did she do it, she paid for me to get something she never had the luxury of. Like that’s deep. That’s meaningful and I saw the effort, so it won my heart.

We went to a bubble tea place,. and I paid for the bubble tea there. Felt like that was the least I could do for her going over what she wanted to pay.

We talked and walked, took pictures of our nails. I was 100% being myself, and then I could sense her social battery going down, and I felt like I was carrying the convo, so I called it a day.

After coming home, one of my SF friends called me. She’s the one I’m going on vacation with in a week. Literally I’m so excited to be with palm trees and sun and pool. For someone that used to travel every month or even 2 times a month, not going anywhere for almost 6 months was crazy. I am itching. Almost like my soul is calling me to cali, but ngl there’s a part of me that’s a little scared for being too happy right now. I keep telling myself that god is protecting me and my family.

Anyways, she told me that her sister ended up texting the guy she broke up with to come over and he said “I’m moved on, and so should you”. She tried reaching out to him multiple times, and at I started joking about it. These group of friends are a year younger but i feel safe with them. I’m myself when I’m talking to them, and I know they respect me, so it always energizes me.

After hanging up, that’s when it hit me that literally what I did wasn’t ordinary. I chose myself, and let go of all my attachments. Literally I worked so hard. That’s when all my progress finally hit me because I saw someone who wasn’t able to do it. Who was struggling to, and that was me at one point. But the fact that I’m a completely person right now is insane to me. I don’t even recognize that old version of me anymore, but I still see that old version of me in her. The one that was struggling for so long but had so much potential. I see it in her but she’s choosing not to do the work.

I did the work.

After that my mom came home, and I just chilled with her and watched some netflix while getting my steps in. At night, I got a bit hungry, so ate my birthday cake. It was small moment but such a freewill moment.

Also, I will say though, I’ve been so tired that I literally am back to knocking out as soon as I close my eyes, and that hasn’t happened in years.

Intuition - Need to create from alignment, my heart says the journals really are my next step, people need to prove their friendship to me because it’s like getting access to selfless love and support and I don’t just give it to anyone. And I literally do deserve all my blessings. I was just too blind to see it until now. Also if I’m attracting love, and people wanting to show up for me, it’s because I’m showing up for myself.

10/10 - So much love and happiness in the simple things

Energy:
80% - So thankful, happy, and proud of myself. Was present
20% - Thinking about if it’s okay to give back a little when receiving abundance