5/7 - Content should be effortless
I woke up with the sweats again. I did go to sleep thinking about this whole reclaiming my culture thing and how I was just going to authentically show up as myself for my content. I can’t try to appeal to a larger audience because then I’m not magnetizing the people that are meant for me. So I’ve been thinking about just posting a talking video about how I felt about the MET. Idk how it’s going to do but whatever, it’s a step in the right directo
Back to night sweats, I did cut out artificial sugar a couple of days ago, so maybe my body is also going through a candida cleanse. I did chat gpt, and I really am facing all the symptoms. Part of me really just wants a bagel with coffee. Idk how long I can stay strong.
I ended up having an egg paratha, and for once I didn’t have a food crash so that was good, but I was itching to maybe initiate my day. I feel like just waking up and working isn’t cutting it for me. I’m getting really bored of my environment, and just having an insanely hard time focusing.
Decided to go to Starbucks to get coffee, and on the way back my SF friends made an literary. I kind of crashed out because I was feeling some self-guilt and didn’t want my other friend to feel left out. I was like over yapping for no reason. So need to chill out and just ghost them for a bit. I kind of do feel a difference in ideas happening. Like they want to do something else than I do. I also feel like this trip is going to be a make or break type of thing. It’s a lot of different personalities coming together. And I’m in my time period of life where if I don’t think you’re helping me grow, I’m probably going to cut you off. I just don’t care anymore. I’m okay with letting people prove themselves to me.
Anyways did that, and then took a work call with an influencer and my boss. Sadly, he was stuttering and nervous. But I was doing great lol. I was myself, which tbh I amaze myself everytime I’m on a call because I remember how nervous I was on my first call. I even remember who it was with. Chad Haupt.
After I was doing with that, I literally just in the glimp of a second decided to record my take! In one shot. literally I didn’t even move, just sitting where I was sitting and it actually turned out really good! I feel like my energy was there any everything.
My phone did die during the editing, but somehow it got saved. Was my sign to post. Didn’t really get engagement or view on it, and honestly I know why. It was too long and I had too many breaks. I could barely watch a 5 minute video. Everything else was great.
But also, I’m so proud of myself because I felt super aligned to the content. It felt like me, and it was easy. Like I wanted to do it. The b-roll and 6 hours of editing just feels like a lot. I don’t think that’s my style. I need something quick and energizing or I know it won’t last because my body rejects work.
I’ve been trying to edit podcast clips for over a week and I literally just can’t. To the point where I planned a whole other trip to avoid it while doing my steps. I’ve been only getting in 8k steps for the past 2 days, so I need to do 14k tomorrow. I decided I’m taking my mom to Nashville for her bday. Initially it was going to be Charottle, but that’s also a 12 hour drive, and Idk how the roads will be, so I rather do something safer. I can do 7 hours, and I’ve never been to Nashville, so might be interesting to take my mom there.
Still need to order my outfit for my bday on amazon and still edit these podcast clips.
Also random but a couple of months ago, I kept asking myself if I needed to find a new job or work on starting a business. I knew I needed a change but I was so confused on what to do. I feel so thankful for the clarity. Like there’s a 0% doubt in my mind that I should be doing something else. I can’t even imagine getting another job. Like this is it and I know god will give me strength for it.
Intuition - anything that feels like too much work isn’t for me because my body should love it.
7/10 - I feel like I just spent the day trying to have energy to work.
Energy:
10% - Recording a hot take
10% - Diagnosing medical conditions
40% - Forcing myself to work
20% - Planning trips
20% - Chilling
