4/29 - Jealously

I’m at a point where now whenever I see someone post on social media/gain traction, I feel an intense way of jealously because they did it and I’m still not doing it. Slight anxiety creeps in too of competition, but then I have to remind myself that they’re on a different alignment than me. I can start later and still gain faster traction, just because I’m more in alignment with my path/the best version of me. But I’m also at a point where I’m like honestly idc anymore about perfection. I just need to post because the jealously is greater than the perfectionism. I still don’t have my intro done, but whatever, I’m still going to stay on schedule. I know I’ll figure it out.

Anyways, woke up and went to my laser appointment. It was dragging. Still need to go for a part 2, but also I realized I don’t really like my laser technician like that. She’s cool, but I don’t see more coming out of it. I finally am gaining the confidence to just be like I kind of just doesn’t vibe with them. Instead of traditionally asking “Do they like me?” now I’m like I don’t like them.

Today was also fasting day, so came home, and took a couple of meetings, and then ate/chilled with mom.

My mom has eye surgery tomorrow for her cataract so we won’t be able to watch TV together was a couple of weeks. She also was just doing a bunch of chores today and cleaning because she knows she won’t be able to help me for a while. While we were cleaning up, we got a call from the hospital saying she’s the first appointment, so we have to be the hospital by 5am. Means no sleep tonight, also initially I was planning on getting my posting stuff done tomorrow morning.

Anyways, I napped. I’ve been having crashes again and I feel like that’s also taking time out from my day again.

I decided to get some work done, and then did my 10k steps. While walking I created a new email, and my social accounts for my brand. It’s called “Shalinidaily”. I kind of like it because it’s clear that I’m going to be posting daily.

Also still trying to remove my blocks with money and fear with my mom. So i’m trying to talk to my inner child to calm it down. Also did some more chat gpt visualizing to help with the anxiety.

I’m a little nervous about tomorrow. I’m still traumatized, so feel scared. I keep reminding myself nothing bad isn’t going to happen.

Anyways, I also feel like I need to do some writing my fears on paper/burning the paper, and some somatic workouts to release the trauma from my body. It’s creating a fear vibration that I don’t like. Need to do some shadow work.

I also have to answer a shit ton of people, so feel behind on texting and communication. I love how I text check-ins and just don’t reply back, smh.

7/10 - Felt like a little unproductive/too much fear

Intuition - I’m okay, I’ll be okay. Everything is okay.

Energy:

30% - Resting
30% - Energy Blocks
30% - Visualizing + making progress
10% - idek