8/6/25 - Masculine and feminine energy at the same time
I kind of woke up with an interesting dream of my engagement where the families were just so awkward, and his side of the family was so different and I just felt like I didn’t belong but also I didn’t really know if I was making the right decision of getting engaged. And in that moment, I was so nervous and all I could think of was “I wish I took more time to get to know him and everyone”.
Idk what message this dream was supposed to be considering I’m single but maybe it meant to take my time and get to know my person’s family and not rush into things.
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Anyways, woke up and went to the car dealer to get my tire fixed. Was working from the dealer. Thankfully, it only took a hourish and it was free. I just accept free stuff now, like it’s meant for me.
After that was realllyyy craving an acai bowl, so I drove an extra 30 minutes to get an acai bowl. It was expensive but something just hit me, like so much gratitude that I’m in a position to get things without looking at money just because I wanted it at any time of the day. Like that is such a privilege. I ate it sitting outside. Didn’t realize how cute park ridge is but it was one of those moments where I just took everything in.
Then came home, worked a bit, made eggs, watched TV with mom, worked more, took a nap, worked more, and then mom and I went to khols to get her a dress.
I kept thinking that I’m about to be successful and I want my mom to look successful too. In reality, the dress was actually for a family member’s bday that we’re going to.
All my life I fee like we were looked at as the “poor ones” but the narrative changes with the way we show ourselves. No one is coming to save us, we have to show up as someone that is already saved.
And again had another moment of taking it all in, that I want to share my wealth with my mom and just bought her a dress and shoes without even thinking.
I feel like I’m in my masculine provider energy and feminine energy, where I just provide, but I also don’t stress about my money. I trust that god will give me abundance.
But just seeing her happy made me so happy too. She didn’t grow up with this privilege. Also though shopping with my mom after a while does drain me.
I also randomly messaged a girl on IG. She posted on LBD saying she wanted someone to go to pilates with, and ngl I just cold messaged her. Let’s see if it actually ends up happening, but I’m a bit nervous.
After coming home, made a chicken burger, and watched a movie. I did eat a lot more than usual today and I’ve been obsessed with chocolate. This is why I don’t have unhealthy snacks at home because I’ll just eat it.
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I’m also back on my health stuff. Started putting rosehip seed oil before bed to hydrate my skin and started drinking chlorophyll today. About to start taking my vitamin D supplements starting tomorrow.
I find myself getting more and more jealous of other creators on Tiktok because that’s how badly I want it now and I see it is possible for other people.
Getting my haircut tomorrow, so super excited.
Intuition - It’s okay to be jealous that means I want it.
8/10 - It was such a free will day and felt so much gratitude. Even felt gratitude last night.
Energy:
25% - doing things I wanted to do
25% - working
25% - eating
25% - shopping with mom
