4/1/26 - Figuring out how to enjoy the process

Today is Hanuman jayanti at the mandir, so dropped mom off early, got my free dunkin coffee that they were giving out for april fools, and then came home and worked for a bit in the living room.

While I was working, I realized that I’m supposed to fall in love with the process of creating. Not just be excited about the idea or enjoy the end result but also love the execution part.

Because again I can have it all.

I don’t have to suffer the middle and just love the start and end. The middle is the main part. The execution is what literally determines the frequency of the end and is the longest part that needs anchoring.

Almost like the difference between my mom and I cooking. You can feel her frequency in her food because she loves cooking. Meanwhile, I hate it, so you can feel it in the result.

Up until now, I was almost forcing myself through the execution with cortisol, coffee, and anxiety. But no more of that, and that’s why my body remembers how difficult the execution period was and is creating the resistance.

While I was thinking about this, got a notification for my all hands meeting that I totally forgot about, so took that. Lol even fixed the presentation while it was happening, and then presented.

After that mom brought this guy from the mandir over, and sure he might be nice, but something about my body went into defensive mode. Right away he started saying, oh you should go to India, etc. Like he started making assumptions about me and my life without even knowing anything about me. And then started telling me I should have bought the house. His mansplaining and unsolicited advice were aggravating me.

It just made me so pissed. Like who are you to tell me what to do and then go on and on about it. Something about his energy was off too, almost like he felt threatened by me. I could tell he was lying about his job too to upsell himself. It just all felt so fake. And was just pissing me off.

Went to go wash my hair and did my makeup and all. At this point, I’m manifesting finding someone at the mandir, so looking my best.

As soon as we went to the mandir, they needed help serving downstairs, so I was helping for like 2 hours until my back started to hurt. Then ate dinner with mom, and went back upstairs.

Saw my old neighbors too, prayed, and then we ended up staying at the mandir until 1am. It was raining when we came home.