11/19/25 - A cup for my creative faucet

Last night, I went to sleep by 11pm with my sleep hypnosis sound, but then woke up at 12:30am and started having anxiety. There was just soo much on my mind and just felt so restless. Almost felt like I wanted to get up in the middle of the night to start working, just so I could feel at peace.

Did some chatgpting and I finally got an answer that I liked. Until now my ideas were coming at water drips, this was the first time all my creative energy was just coming out like a faucet and I had no cup, so it just felt like my creative energy was controlling me.

I was getting anxiety to just overwork myself and get things done, but it wasn’t from a flow state. It was from an overworking state, but I know that’s not right to me because I felt so ungrounded. I need to be grounded and rest and do work. Thinking of ideas peacefully is good but not in an anxious way.

I just needed to manage my creative energy. Give it cups. Write things down immediately, break up tasks in little increments.

Felt at peace when I wrote all this down, and then played some sound bath music to go to sleep to.

After my meltdown last night, I woke up feeling way better but still got straight to working because I wanted to finish my marketing plan before the all hands call today.

I was starting to feel better because it was like I was giving my creative ideas a place to live. A cup, so maybe me being forced to do this was good after all. Until now, I knew it was in my head and thought I didn’t need to organize into a to-do list, but maybe I did.

Somehow hustled through and was 80% of the way done before the call. Our call was a waste of time. My boss literally wasn’t answering any question currently, and I lose more and more respect for him as the days go. But whatever.

Showered, ate, finished Gilmore Girls, and then wanted to finish working. I got most of it out of the way still have a few things left to do.

Felt like I just needed to disconnect from work, so went to Chipotle, came home took an edible and just sat down in my hair eating chipotle, watching the Gilmore Girls after-part and now finishing it and then journaling.

I have to wake up early tomorrow, so hoping I can go to bed early today as well.

9/10 - I felt way more at peace today with all my creative ideas because I put them on paper. Felt like I did what I could do.

Intuition - I’m learning how to manage more and more creative energy, more water coming from the faucet without there being a flood.

Energy:
25% - calming my nervous system
50% - working
25% - relaxing with netflix and food