9/11 - finding a reason

In order to be unbreakable you need to believe in yourself.

Until now, I always thought if my mom got sick, I would cave and message J. But I don’t feel the need to do that. I don’t feel alone. I feel like god is with me.

I’m somehow emotionally regulated right now because I know my mom will get better.

Maybe this was to show me that one thing I thought I needed him for, I actually don’t. I’m stronger than I think I am.

Maybe god is protecting me by not going to Portland? Because that’s never happened where I actually didn’t go. So maybe there is a reason that I can’t see right now.

• I’m the strongest mentally than I’ve ever been.

• I’m emotionally regulated even in the worst of situations.

• I feel my blessings again. My mom sleeping and laughing is a blessing itself and of course I deserve more. It is on its way.

• I don’t feel alone. God is with me.

• I know this too will pass. I still am the luckiest person in the world. Even lucky people need their plot stories.

I am sooo strong. God is with me. Everything will be okay. My mom is perfectly healthy. I will pass this. I am still the luckiest soul in the world.