4/19 - Past, Current, Future all in one
Last night, I did even more Chat GPTing. I just like asking it random questions for it to feed my delulu at this point. And while talking to it I realized something important. I no longer think from just current me, I think about past me, current me, and future me as a whole person. Example if child me is freaking out if things will be okay, current me is I’ll make sure things are okay, and future me is of course things are okay. It’s like communicating with all parts of me at once, which is crazy cool tbh.
ANDDDDDD I turn 27 in exactly a month. 26 was so special. 26 literally shaped and built me, and will always have a special place in my heart. Now I just have one thing left to do before I turn 27 and that’s to start my Content Creator journey.
So I woke up today and was super determined to get things done, and ended up submitting my application to 3 upcoming TEDx events. Chicago, Naperville, and Arlington Heights just to avoid editing. Even sent them a follow-up message on LinkedIn. I hope I get the Arlington Heights one. I feel like the theme really fits with everything I have to say and just feels a little less scary. Maybe I need to think of something worse than editing to make myself edit.
Just to avoid editing, I even took a nap. It’s like when you have so much to do that you just nap instead because you’re overwelhmed, but no we got disclipine. Plus I needed to get 12k steps done before going to the mandir today, so I was got myself up with the anxiety and just decided to do some editing while walking. Got a decent chunk done. I do really like the intro, and it does match my standards. The anxiety of being a perfectionist but I just have to remember to take it one step at a time.
I got 10k done before going to the mandir, and then another 2k at the mandir. The mandir ended up being super busy and honestly just prayed to give me power to edit.
My other best friend also texted me saying she’s been thinking of me. I just think she’s feeling me withdraw and so the anxious attachment is getting to her. Because again talked to chat gpt about this.
I feel like she leaves me alone every time I need her to fight with me publicly. And I don’t want that energy in my life right now. It’s leaky energy. She’s a good person and all, and I don’t think I’m cutting her off for good. We have way too much history. But definitely cutting my energy cord with her right now.
Intuition - Overall, I’m just really excited to meet my person. I know I’m going to be a Tedx speaker. I feel it in my heart. It’s just a matter of when. If not this year, than next year.
7/10 - Fighting my power to edit BUT I’m happy I submitted my tedx application. I also like going to the mandir every week. It ended up being a wild card weekend activity, but I feel like it raises my vibrations.
Wait also while I was writing this, the TEDx Chicago organizer replied! I applied after the deadline and she technically didn’t say no. She even connected on LinkedIn! damnnn
Energy:
50% - battling getting work done
30% - discipline
20% - praying
