5/21 - Putting in the work

I woke up and was randomly like I don’t think I’m “lucky” for being skinny now. I literally walk everyday and put in the work. Plus I’ve been trying to lose weight for years. 4 years, and I finally saw the fruits in the past 8 months.

Same with my savings. I’m not scared because it’s been gradually growing, it’s years of work. So it feels like mine. I don’t think I’m lucky. I know I put in the work.

Same with getting my soulmates. I’ve been in a terrible relationship for years, and I did the work to heal, so it just feels right to get my soulmate now. I earned it.

That’s the energy I need to be in for my content. I need to remember I’ve been creating content for literally 5 years now, it’s not overnight. Even the courage to talk in front of the camera has been years.

Now I’ve been posting every day, so I’ve been putting in the work. I deserve it, it’s mine. I put in the work. When I wrote my journal, the energy I revealed was almost like i didn’t deserve it. But I do deserve it. Literally even for my writing. I’ve been writing every day for 9 months, that’s crazy discipline. I put in the work to be a writer.

For my ted talk, I need to record a talking clip everyday because literally I’m putting in the work. This makes all my goals and dreams more mine because I put in the work.

I also saw a quote:

Discipline to work without recognition, and have faith to continue without validation.

That’s my new test.

I can’t fall weak everytime my content doesn’t do well. I can’t immediately think I’m crazy for dreaming big. Deep down I just know there’s no other plan. It’s just this. I’m going to make this happen. This is what I want.

Chatgpt said:
If it wasn’t meant for you, it wouldn’t burn inside you. You wouldn’t journal like this. You wouldn’t cry over the dream. You wouldn’t keep showing up. That calling is your confirmation.

I don’t need the numbers to prove or support. The fact that I don’t want anything is my confirmation. It’s going to happen. I know me. I’m going to make it happen, especially when I’m laser focused on something.
-

LOL the second half of the day was so total 360 from the first half. I took mom to her eye appointment and it took sooo long. I was initially going to take her to froth like I promised but it was already lunch time by the time my mom was done with the eye appointment. I was just calling customer service and getting errand work done. But still was so hungry, so we went to kasama after. There was a slight line but everything I got was so good. Mom and I ate the cakes in the car, so I’m overloaded on sugar.

Came home and ate lunch too. Got to working after, and saw my best friend literally had 5k views on her new post.

I no longer feel like okay I just need to get one piece of content out per day. Now, I’m like okay I have competition, so I can already feeling myself thinking out the box. I’m like more motivated to bring up numbers because I’m a competitive person.

And that also means that I’m officially in the frequency where I’m attracting content creators, and god knew I needed a little push. Now I don’t feel alone and it’s like if she’s winning and deserves, I deserve it too. Suddenly the imposter syndrome and guilt is going because now it’s not just me as the “why me”, I’m surrounded by people who are all winning and I totally forgot that happens too when you move up a frequency.

For some reason I kept visualizing current me with current people, and being the only successful person when I wrote my journal entry. I forgot that literally I’m going to be fully surrounded by content creators, and I’ll be one of them. I won’t be the only one winning. That’s literally why everyone that doesn’t align is being moved away from my path.

This kind of reminds me of how me and my college best friend were. We were both ambitious so literally we would push each other. We would compare how much money we saved. We would give each other notes. It was healthy competition. That really was my motivation.

That’s how I’m feeling right now too.

God and the universe is in my favor. Literally all this is happening for me to make sure I win. On the bright side, I literally prayed yesterday to help me remove the guilt of winning, and damn that moved quick.

Anyways got my steps in, edited both my voiceovers, and dropped off the gift I got for her too!

I got her backgrounds, so she has pretty content for all her coffee pictures. I’m happy for her.

Late last night, I also messaged my other friend but this time with the boundary saying I was praying for her and not overextending myself.

Intuition - I’m in the right alignment.

8/10 - Morning took forever, but mom and I had a cute moment and now i’m motivated again with content, and no longer feel guilty.

Energy:
20% - Customer service
30% - mindset shift
30% - Editing content
20% - eating