2/20/26 - Expansion from curiosity, anchoring even when there are quality opportunities

Last night, after tripping up over why I’m not seeing any external results, chat was like okay what if you got everything.. then what? I was like then I would feel “met” and then I’d work harder to reach a new level.

Chat was like that’s the problem. You’re still proving to receive.

So basically, I need to learn how to receive without proving.

Chat said: When worth is stable, expansion becomes play.

I neeed to want more from a place of curiosity for expansion to not desperation from proof. It needs to be grounded.

Expansion needs to feel like curiosity, too. 

Anyways, for the hell of it, I also put an anonymous post on all Chicago photographer pages to see if any photographers wanted to do a collab shoot. Because I’m curious.. will I collab with another photographer? Let’s see.

I also kept pondering on how I’m going to scale events. There’s this group called MVM, which has really cracked the code for club events, so tbh we could just give them 100-200k to co-brand each event, and I do think it would be worth it. But at the same time, there are so many other individual brands too. The real impact is going to be to tap into the audience each smaller brand has and capitalize with our touch. If we partner with MVM that’s all we’ll be. Instead, if I can crack the code with smaller brands first and THEN MVM.. now that’s us being EVERYWHERE.
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I woke up and started watching videos on pelvic tilts and how to fix it. Realized that is what has been the core of my issue. I feel like I have no balance because my whole posture really does lean forward.

The rest of the day, I ended up adjusting my pelvic throughout the day.

Then I made a list normal things I want to do this year, from a place of fun and curiosity. Meet priyanka chopra, fix my pelvic tilt, do a split, posure straight, find a way to scale at work, and yeah that’s it.

Right in the morning, I found out the Seattle candlelight event is sold out! 700 people per show. That’s insane. And it’s sold out a day before, so my marketing really did work. Even they were overwhelmed from the support and demand. I have a feeling I cracked the code for them too to become a profitable business.

I also ended up messaging my landlord to see if I could stay until the end of the month, when my lease ends on March 8. I was so nervous she was going to say no and then I would have to move out in like 8 days, especially when my friends are coming for st.pattys.

But thankfully later in the day she said no problem, and said I could even move month to month after that. Which literally solves my whole problem. I don’t even have to sign a whole another year that I was freaking out about. I can now move whenever I feel like I want to move, without pressure or without feeling stuck.

Sent out some more hanumankind tickets, I was having a bit of a problem and thought they capped my ability to buy tickets. I was also ideating a bit more with the influencer girl on how we can get our influencers to make content at the event. I feel like she feels less demeaning now. Where I can actually have a conversation with her, and I don’t feel like she thinks I’m stupid.

Watched the addam’s family movie on netflix. Made almond coffee for the first time, and mom made chicken so was just eating that all day long. Tried getting my protein fix in.

Before my walk, I somehow went on vistaprint because I needed to create custom message cards for EID and saw they now have packaging for all different types of food, but didn’t think too much of it.

Starting walking - I was a bit nervous because ngl I did get a little insecure. 1 of the photographer’s girlfriend was sooo pretty and such a natural model. And the other photographer was so talented. But then I had to tell myself that I’m me, and that’s how I’ll learn, plus if they think I’m ugly or not talented, they just won’t answer. No hard feelings.

BUT HOLY SHIT the talented one answered and said she was down for a photoshoot and asked me if I had any vision boards. Tbh now that I think about it this really is “random” miracles in my world. And this time I don’t even have a burning desire to make something come to life. So I just have to run with it. At first, I felt like I needed to come up with something genius, but then I’m like honestly, I’m allowed to have a phase where I just recreate looks/shoots I’ve always wanted to do. I don’t have to go straight to creating masterpieces just yet.

That’s when this vintage car shoot came to mind and I started pinning things on my board. I even tried researching people that loan a red vintage car out in Chicago. I kind of do feel unprepared and it feels out of my comfort zone, but I don’t mind it. This is exactly how I expect to feel when photographers will reach out to me for creative shoots. I’ll just have to run with a shoot I feel like doing, trust my wardrobe and trust my presence. And above everything be curious and have fun. No pressure.

And then after my walk, I came back and had the most brilliant anchor ideas to scale with coffee shops. Who cares about all this extra stuff? Literally custom packaging. That’s the answer. Give out free coffee at a south asian coffee shop to the first 200 people with custom Dil Mil sleeves. That’s what people go to coffee shops for. The coffee. We need to anchor the main product. Also bringing back the theme of writing phone numbers on napkins. #milONus

That’s the campaign name. Brilliant.

I’m going to tell the photographer girl that I’ll send her some mood boards by monday because rest first. Working from anxiety or urgency isn’t aligned. But also ngl, initally I did feel like I needed to move fast or “prove” myself as a great creative director. But then I was like f it. I’m going to do things the way I feel like doing them. Whatever happens happens, even if she says no. I need to anchor in myself.

Curiosity - finding a photographer, new shoot ideas, ways to fix my pelvic tilt, ways to scale events & activations

Joy - When the photographer said yes, moodboarding, brilliant idea for custom packaging, the candlelight event being sold out

9/10 - Wish I worked out more but whatever good start

Intuition - My capacity is definitely increasing but I do feel stimualated so tomorrow and sunday needs to be guilt-free rest days

Energy:
40% - being curious
40% - ideating/using my brain
20% - feeling miracles